6 - His Husband's Voice

"I'm sorry Mom, but we just wanted to get settled before we spring everyone on him." Cailen spoke into the phone that was squished between his ear and shoulder as he finished wrapping up Ezekiel's sandwich that he had made to pack with him for lunch.

It was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that was making a right mess of his fingers but it was Ezekiel's favorite so Cailen figured it was worth it.

Ezekiel was in his room, hopefully getting ready for school, but Cailen suspected he was playing with his toys. It was alright though, they were ahead of schedule anyway.

"I know, I'm just excited is all. I'm a grandmother!" Cailen heard his mother's voice say through the phone, obviously excited.

Cailen smiled as he put the sandwich into the Batman lunch container. Honestly, this kid loved batman too much for his own good, but his smile faded as what Eden said sunk in.

"Uh, yeah... Mom, you might want to ease off the labels, he's- he's not really comfortable with them yet." Cailen explained.

He didn't want a re-run of when the guys came over. Cailen tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice because he was okay with this. He was, but apparently, he hadn't succeeded very well.

"Oh, just give him time, Cai. It took you a little bit to be comfortable too." Eden explained.

"I know, Mom. Look, I have to go, have to get him to school." Cailen said because he didn't want to talk about it right now.

"Alright. Sunday, okay? Don't forget!" She said, reminding him of the dinner he promised they would attend.

"Yes, Mom, bye. Love you." Cailen said before dropping the phone onto the counter and pressing the end button with his cleanest finger.

Cailen quickly rinsed his hands off, the peanut butter taking a little longer than the jelly, then closed up Ezekiel's lunchbox and went in search of his backpack.

Cailen found his backpack, one of the only things he owns that wasn't batman themed, by the rubbish bin, having probably been dropped in the first place Ezekiel found. Cailen slipped the lunch box in his bag, zipping it up and neatly leaning it back against the bin so Ezekiel could easily find it.

Cailen was about to go get Ezekiel and make sure he was getting ready for school when his eyes caught something inside the bin.

It looked like a newspaper of some kind that had been crumpled up and thrown away, which was kind of odd.

It was odd because they usually saved the newspapers for Loki to use to pee on when they left him home all day.

Cailen reached into the bin, pulling out the crumpled mess and shaking off some dried up coffee grounds that were stuck to it. He unfolded it, smoothing out the crinkles as best as he could.

Why would Asher have thrown this out? Was he just spacing out when he did so?

They were running low on newspapers to use as well so he couldn't see why Asher would throw it out.

When Cailen had it smoothed out as good as he could, he saw that it was actually today's paper and that just confused him even more. Asher always left the paper on the table for Cailen to read if he wanted before adding it to the pee pile.

Why had he thrown it out?

With further inspection, Cailen found why Asher had thrown it pretty quickly.

It was front page news, a picture of a house engulfed in flames spread across the front and a title of ‘Firefighter Gives Life To Save Little Girl!’. It was a touching story, right down the heroic act of selflessly running into the home after it had been deemed unsafe, even for a firefighter.

But that's not what had all kinds of emotions swirling inside of Cailen.

Although this was a touching story, it was just a reminder of what could happen to Asher.

Asher was a firefighter, he did this kind of stuff every day, and every day, Cailen feared his husband wouldn't come home.

Everyday was spent anxiously waiting for the hour that he could rush home to see Asher's truck parked in the spot beside his.

Everyday, Cailen struggled to watch Asher leave without voicing his worries because that would no doubt start a fight.

Everyday, Cailen made sure to remind Asher of how much he loved him just in case it would be the last time he'd get to tell him.

The firefighter wasn't from Beverwood so Asher probably didn't know him but Cailen knew this will have upset Asher as well.

Even if he didn't know them, they still had a connection of some sort and the death of any firefighter was always taken seriously at the firehouse. Cailen was sure there would be a memorial of some sort, honoring the fallen hero, but Cailen was also sure he wouldn't be going.

Not because he didn't want to, he would if Asher asked, but he knew Asher wouldn't ask.

Asking Cailen to go to a memorial for a fellow firefighter might mean bringing up the age old argument about his career.

Which just sucked.

Cailen wanted Asher to confide in him about this, he wanted to be there for him, he was his husband for crying out loud. It kind of hurt that Asher would rather suffer alone than confide in Cailen and risk Cailen suggesting him looking into a different profession.

Was Cailen really asking too much? He didn't think he was.

Sure, it was kind of hot when Asher first became a firefighter, Cailen never knowing he had a thing for that until then, but with every frightening story Asher told him, the sexiness of it all wore off fast.

He's heard stories of his fellow firefighters getting seriously burned, their skin never healing quite the same. He's heard of them never being able to walk again, or even losing their limbs. And of course, he's heard of many deaths, a few of them being someone Asher did know and that was never easy to deal with.

So no, Cailen didn't think he was asking too much when he asked Asher to consider another job. He's had his 'fun' so why couldn't he move on now?

Cailen tried talking with Asher several times before but it never usually got far. It would always start with Asher saying that Cailen was worrying for nothing, that he was fine, and would always end with one of them storming out of the room, having been fed up with arguing over the same thing.

But now with this article, Cailen's mind was racing and he really just wanted to call Asher to hear his voice, just to make sure he was okay.

Asher had left for the firehouse an hour ago and was probably there now, waiting for a call to come in, lifting weights or running on the treadmill to pass the time.

Cailen knew Asher spent a lot of time rescuing cats from trees or even giving classes of students tours of the firehouse while explaining the importance of fire safety, but there was always that one call once in a while that would put his life in danger and although it rarely happened, it still happened and it still put his husband's life on the line.

Cailen couldn't take it anymore.

He had to hear Asher's voice. He had to be sure he was okay. It may seem silly to other people but they had no idea what it was like to sit here and wonder whether someone they cared about was coming home or not.

He was usually good about calming himself when he let his thoughts get the best of him but the article had freaked him out a bit and he knew he would need Asher's help to calm down from this. So before he could think twice about it, he was dialling Asher's number.

"Hello?" Came Asher's voice on the third ring, putting Cailen's rapidly beating heart to rest.

Cailen couldn't help but sigh in relief, smiling to himself because Asher was okay. He knew he probably would be even before the call but it was the 'probably' that had him panicking.

"Hey." Cailen replied softly, leaning against the counter.

"Everything okay, Cai?" Asher asked, probably because it was a bit odd for Cailen to be calling at this hour when he knew Asher was at work.

"Yeah, yeah… everything's fine, I just- I don't know..." Cailen said, not being able to come up with an excuse as to why he was calling other than the truth and Cailen didn't really want to admit that.

"You don't know what?" Asher asked, a slight chuckle escaping his lips.

"I don't know..." Cailen repeated, just happy to hear that he was not in immediate danger.

He heard Asher sigh on the other end.

"You saw the article?" Asher asked, seeming to know why Cailen was calling now.

"Yeah." Cailen admitted.

"Cai-"

"No, no, I know." Cailen interrupted Asher before he could start giving Cailen a lecture on how he didn't need to worry about Asher.

He didn't want to start a fight over the phone when he wouldn't be able to talk to Asher for eight hours.

"I just- I just needed to hear your voice. Is that so bad?" Cailen asked quietly.

"No." Asher admitted. "I'm fine, Cai. We're just sitting here talking right now. Jeremy is late, of course, so we're kind of just making fun of him." Asher explained.

Cailen knew he was trying to remind Cailen that most of his days were spent lounging around the firehouse and not fighting actual fires.

"Of course." Cailen chuckled.

"I love you," Asher said softly and Cailen knew he'd be smiling to himself, maybe ducking his head so the guys wouldn't take the piss out of him. "I'll be home tonight and... maybe we'll put Zeke to bed early?" Asher suggested, making Cailen smile.

"Oh, and just what would we do with that free time?" Cailen asked teasingly, looking at the ground and scuffing his sock covered foot over the floor.

"I think we'll figure something out." Asher replied, his tone suggestive.

"Okay." Cailen agreed, his tone going back to being soft and gentle. "I love you, be safe." Cailen said even though he knew Asher would be.

It reminded him of when Eden used to tell him to drive safely every time he left the house once he had his license, and she still did it to this day when they would go over for dinner. He never understood why until now.

"Always," Asher assured. "Have a good day, love."

"Bye." Cailen replied before ending the call, letting out another sigh of relief.

He pushed himself away from the counter, shoving his phone into his pocket and heading down the hall to Ezekiel's room.

He knocked briefly before pushing the door open to see Ezekiel sitting on his floor, wearing nothing at all, playing with his Batman action figure.

Cailen really wasn't surprised.