pain that doesn't make sense now.

*flashback*

"Linda.....Linda......" my mom scream at me,I was fast asleep.

but I manage to hear her,I got up slowly,there wasn't enough time for me to comprehend what was going on,she immediately pull me,and then before I knew what was going on, everyone was running from our apartment,it was about to collapse.

you can see the crack on the walls,some part coming down already,we have to just make it out alive.

I'm just 10 years old, despite the horrors of life,I never thought, it will get worst.

I slipped and fell to the ground,then the the ceiling came down at that moment separating me from my mom,a very hard piece of block hit my head, causing me to black out.

*recent days*

"must I have this fucking nightmare everytime I close my damm eye?" I scream as I got up,to get to work.

brushing my teeth,while screaming my lungs out as I play stray kids manaic,on my Spotify playlist.

took my bath,I prepared noodles with egg and bread,so I ate it ..

carried my bag and went straight to work,I work at a super market in lagos,I hate my job and my life but what can I do,I have to make money if I ever what to keep living under a roof.

the road seem so pretty,the leafs look lovely,the animals who are free to do what they what,how much I envy them,they seem so lucky..

"good morning sir" you can hear my voice as it is husky and low all of a sudden my happiness disappear,it wasn't there from the start but it just became worse.

"good morning" he turned away and left to his office,we run shift in the market, morning and afternoon shift,maybe that's why the work is bearable.

"I'm really so tired" rose exclaimed.

"bro,I swear that's the feeling I'm getting too,I just want to sleep"

we quickly swept,arrange everything,and started cleaning.

*fast forward,it was time to go home*

at three we all went home,I got to the market and buy lots of things to cook at home.

on reaching home,I entered inside and locked my door,people ask how will I find love with the way I live my life,I don't know man, I'm not looking for love either,I just want to pay my bill and survive for another day,it may seem so little to some people but it mean alot to me,and I just want to keep living that way.

I got a call from my friend,"rose hey"

"hey Linda, there's this party, beach party,you must try to attend, it's a must"

"I gottt chu...." I was still talking before she cut me off.

"you got no church,Linda,you don't even go to church no more, I'm coming to pick you by 7pm so better be ready at that time,if not .." she cut the call.

I hissed,cooked,then bath,lay on my bed and dose off.

*flashback*

after I got hit and black out,I woke up and there I was alone and scared,I thought I was alone.

"hey don't cry,we are together" I heard a male voice,he must be living in this apartment too.

I turned my head and looked at him,"you didn't make it out of here?"

"not yet,we will go out together,I promise"

"we will die, before that happen, what of your parent"

"they travel,I was alone,at home I was about going to school,before all these"

"that's so sad, me and my mom,got separated, I'm sure she is worried sick about me"

"someone is there" he said pointing at the direction of my back.

I turned,and we both struggle our way there,only to find out he was dead,I screamed so loud,he hugged me so dearly.

to think we were both kids at that time,but he had to be the bigger person.

*recent days*

I woke up sweating and breathing so heavily.

"fuck you" I murmured as I got up and checked my phone,rose is calling.

"I'm at your house,open up" she hung up.

"so rude" I said as I go up there to open the door.

"bro,you aren't ready,go dress up,why tf are you sweating so fucking heavily like this?"

"I had a bad dream"

"wtf,then this party is gonna help,you are gonna meet your prince charming"

"stfu,please it's never going to happen"

"maybe the reason why it isn't happening is because you have your heart fixed on someone you are waiting for is there anyone??"

"n..o...o, that's nonsense" but the truth is that,I am waiting on the boy who saved me 8 years ago, that's bullshit,but I am waiting patiently like a loser.

I got dressed,and we went to the party,I wore a black grown,with black heels,while rose wore a pink gown with cute boot,we are so opposite and it's fun.

we made our grand entrance and got stares from lots of people, especially rose because she is dam pretty.

we were drinking before she got taken away from me by her fuck mate idk.

I was drinking when I got scary flashback,and I started imaging on how the world will collapse that's crazy,I couldn't breath,I felt my body gradually dying and tbh I hope that would be the end.

but as always helps come when I don't really need it,it seems I'm fighting my way to go up there to meet God and he is fighting his way to make me stay down here.

"hey,breath, it's just a panic attack,breath you will be alright'

I heard the most reassuring voice and I started closely at him.

is this the beginning of my new love story? I hope so maybe finally someone to live for,all this imagination for someone I just met now? that's crazy shit.

"sorry,t..h..a..n..k... you" stammering,while finally catching my breath.

"I'm Pete"

"I'm Linda"

"uhmm,this is akward" he chuckled.

"yeah,it is"

"seems like you hate parties"

"I don't hate parties,I just hate the memories I get from actually having fun with my life,it seems I am not suppose to be happy"

"past traumas,I guess"

"something like that"

"let's talk about something else,it seems you'd rather not talk about it,what do you do?"

"uhmm,currently I'm working at a super market,you?" knowing it would be rude not to ask, don't get me wrong I really just want to go home.

"I'm studying at Lagos state university"

"what course?" I seem so interested I don't know why.

"phycology"

"I'm not surprised,you previous actions makes it very accurate" I smiled a little bit.

that's weird,why did I smile like that.

"uhmm, something led to me wanting to study that"

"and what's that?" this isn't me,I would have find a way to end this conversation,but I am not,I keep on going with the flow and it's amazing.

"maybe another time we will get to discuss that,you won't go to school?"

"maybe I will go,once I have an ambition,and money right now, I'm just trying to survive day my day,and it's getting really tiring"

he looks at me for sometime,and I just realized I have being talking too much.

"I'm sorry,for spilling bullshit, I'm just tired"

"nahh, it's alright, I was just contemplating on what to say,should I ask like a therapist or a friend right now?"

I just smiled and said nothing.

"a friend" I manage to say after a long time.

he just hugged me so tightly,this was the first time in my life,I got this emotional with someone,I stood there crying my eyes out.