Want my days back

Aaradana Agarwal POV

"Come out soon. Everybody is waiting for you" my ma almost yelling outside the window. I'm super nervous today, finally the day came. I don't want to go out of this room but I can't help myself. Finally, I glanced myself in the mirror i was not bad. Yeah, I'm just okay today I'm lacking something, YES, my happiness.

Today is my wedding day. I was hell shocked last week when my papa and ma came and told me 'beti you’re going to get married next week. Invite your friends' yes, I myself know about marriage just last week.

I have dreamt many things about my wedding just like any other girls. It was like a dream to me. But now my dream is totally shattered. I always wanted, while getting married I must know everything about my husband. But today I came to know his name while entering the hall.

"Are u going to come out or not" my ma shouted again bringing back my thoughts, as though I have an option to cancel this wedding. My ma is absolutely sweeter than halwa I don't know why she started becoming rude after that day. Even my father he was as sweet as chocolate now he became as bitter as bitterguord. Yes both of them were very loving, caring, sharing and every -ing. But after that incredible day my life changed upside down. I felt betrayed. I can’t totally blame my parents for this wedding. Even I wanted to move on. I don’t wanted to mourn anymore.

"Aara do you want me to break this door or what? Open it fast" my ma yelled one last time. I don't want to waste any more time, I'll just inform this groom name is Arun Thakur.

I opened my room and saw my ma she was literally sobbing, her beautiful eyes is now filled with happy tears. She is one of the most beautiful and strongest women I know. She looks adorable when she smiles and more adorable when I'm the reason behind her smile.

"ma don't cry please. I'm ready now. I just want you to smile. For that smile I can even get married n times with different strangers " I joked, she slapped my arm playfully with her fist and told " don't play with me now, come! all are waiting for you" We walked downstairs and I masked my face with fake smile, only I know the frustration, betrayal and sadness behind this smile. Yes, I'm very good at acting like I'm-all-good nobody found my loneliness behind this mask.

As I move down, I literally can't control my tears who is my recent best friend of mine at corner of my eyes before anybody could see my dude, I just wiped him.

Each step I took I felt like something incredibly bad going to happen. I know one bad news that's I'm getting married but I'm having a very strong bad vibe, is something seriously going to happen?

Oh god! I'm fine whatever happens today to me even if I get burned in this agni, I'm okay with it (okay??? You will be victory dancing in your mind my subconscious mind hit me - yes i know I'll be very happy if I did rather getting married to Mr. Arun Thakur) but nothing must affect my family. I don’t want to see tears in their eyes

My heart is beating out of control

'Take a deep breath Aaradana, everything will be fine ' I chanted to myself.

I looked at my father he smiled at me after several days I can see happiness, a true happiness as though he has accomplished a very big task. I just want him to smile like this wholeheartedly always. For that smile I can do anything in this world.

I can't do this. I never can't do this. But i must do it. I wanted to turn and run away. I just wanted to go back to my old days. Yes, I want my days back to be loving from in and out. Not just to smile outside and scream inside.

Life is a rollercoaster ;

With ups and downs;

With happiness and sadness;

With excitement and worry;

Go with a flow !!!

Someday it might change to your wish!

I took small steps and moved forward. I'm regretting the decision now I should have never opened my room to my ma. I should have stayed inside until I bury myself under 6 feet, no actually 25 feet inside so that nobody can find me.

By taking small steps I could sense a very strong bad vibes which is stronger than cyclone. I'm nervous to the core. I moved forward with the help of the father. Father!! When did he take my hands I lastly saw him while smiling at me now he is taking my hands and moving forward? I just hit my head inwards for lost in my world and moved forward.

My pa made me sit near rituals. My hands started to shiver even though I'm sitting in front of agni.

I never imagined I'll be waiting in front of agni for a stranger. No, it's Mr. Arun Thakur. My strange husband.