06

#####06

It was relieving to feel my heartbreak patching itself up with anger, even if somewhere deep inside I knew that was not going to work in the long run. For now, the whole concept of a revenge glow-up sounded really appealing. I even thought about getting a gym membership.

Thought about, and then quickly changed my mind, my excuse being that Charles was alone enough as it was. I kept catching glimpses of a Crazy Cat Lady future for myself if I didn’t stop using Charles as an excuse for things.

Once in the mall, I went for all the pieces I loved that I usually would have avoided because of Jay’s disapproval. The tight little black numbers that reminded me of my emo high school days, when I would listen to Bring Me the Horizon and My Chemical Romance on loop. Strappy shirts, tight skirts, dark painted-on jeans. I guess at my age I should have probably been shopping for blazers and button-ups, but there was a certain power in reclaiming a style that had always made me feel powerful, mysterious, and slightly frightening.

Our last stop was Victoria’s Secret. As Sarah wandered off to the Pink section, I slyly snagged a few corsets and lingerie sets, even knowing they were too expensive. Who would I wear them for anyway ? Myself ? Even so, as I stood in the perfectly-lit fitting room and looked at myself in the massive mirror, I liked what I saw. My ass was more of a pancake than a birthday cake, but hey, who didn’t like pancakes anyway ? I actually felt . . . beautiful.

I snapped a few pictures with my phone before changing back into my regular clothes, deciding to just take the hit and pull out my credit card for once. The lingerie would just be for me and Charles to enjoy.

Kahlan’s phone number was an itch I couldn’t scratch. I had his note in my hand three times to throw away, only to put it back on the countertop each time. Finally, exasperated, I sat down on the couch with his note in one hand and my phone in the other.

I knew I shouldn’t. It just wasn’t appropriate. But what if I hadn’t happened to be put in his class ? I could have gotten any of the other classes if my schedule had fit, and I would have texted him already.

A sudden smell made me tingle. The couch still smelled like his cologne, a dark musky scent that made me think of old libraries and leather.

God. Dammit.

I put his number into my phone and typed up a quick message.

So I know that we’re going to act like the other night didn’t happen, but I felt rude not thanking you for such a fun night ;)

I attached one of the pictures I had taken in the fitting room, the one that made my ass look the least pancake-y. Before I could change my mind, I clicked send and then promptly flung the phone to the other end of the couch.

« What’s wrong with me, Charles ? » I said, as he looked at me with wide yellow eyes.

The phone buzzed. Oh god, oh god, oh god. With a deep breath I picked it up and swiped the unlock screen.

In light of last night never having happened, who is this and how did you get this number ?

Also, pictures like that are naughty. Pictures like that get pretty little asses like yours spanked.

I practically squealed, giggling to myself. Naughty indeed. He had actually threatened to spank me. I had always secretly liked the idea, but had never felt comfortable asking Jay for something like that. It looked like I’d just have to keep being a naughty girl then.

The phone buzzed again.

Fuck.

Please forget I sent that.

We shouldn’t be in contact like this.

Too late for that, Professor Kahlan Travis.

I arrived on campus the following day with Marilyn Manson blasting on my headphones. His music was so nostalgic ; once again, hearkening back to my 14-year-old, weirdo self. What kind of almost-quarter-life crisis was I going through with this crap ? To be fair, the music also served as a great distraction from the stares I was getting. I might have overdone my « revenge » clothing. The black collared dress I was wearing was a little Wednesday Addams-esque, and now that I thought about it, the sheer thigh-highs were definitely too much. I hid my discomfort with my own attention-attracting appearance behind massive black sunglasses.

I did feel a little bit better as I found myself approaching the classroom just ahead of Jay. I tossed my hair back, but on my best resting bitch face, and strutted into the auditorium just ahead of him. The look of absolute shock on his face was priceless.

Don’t fall, don’t fall, don’t fall, I thought as carefully made my way down the stairs.