The Pregnancy Contract

She gives me an odd look but accepts. She reads, "Congratulations." "We have approved your Growing Generations Program application. You can now move on to step two. She finishes reading it and then raises her gaze to mine. What is this not?

Slowly, I nod. "I have no idea what to do. This is absurd, to be sure. I've never given birth. I have never even engaged in sexual activity.

She puts her hands on her desk and replies, "All right." It is clear that this is a very important choice.

My coffee is sipped slowly. "You know, it could be advantageous. The money is necessary for my parents. I truly, really need it.

Ciara, you need to be certain that you are prepared to accomplish this. When I overheard two females in my class discussing how college students are usually penniless, one of them brought up stripping for cash as a possible source of income, the idea of being a surrogate first came to me. Surrogacy was mentioned by the other. Of course I knew what a surrogate was, someone who carries a child for someone else, but that wasn't what interested me. How much money surrogate mothers make is what got my attention. $40k to $50k without difficulty. A life-changing sum of money. The amount of money in question could be the difference between my dad's life and death.

I made the choice to use. I was in a vulnerable situation at the time and genuinely considered what I was doing because I was simply desperate. But it seems like I'm now prepared to proceed to the next phase.

I tell myself, "My dad needs the money," once again.

Yes, but you'll need to be emotionally and physically ready for this. It will be difficult. Following conception, you'll need to undergo testing and checkups. After that, you'll have the child and lose contact with them forever.

I tilt my head. In any case, I don't want a child.

"You should consider this. Ciara, give this some serious thought.

We remain silent until the server brings our dinner, waiting for her to go before starting our talk. It's timed perfectly as well, I add. When the kid is delivered, I'll have finished my education .  By graduation, you'll be expecting." Flora makes a pause. Commencement, Ciara. Your graduation photos would be permanently damaged. There must be another option because I am aware of your financial necessity.

"No, there's not. I have to prioritize my studies, thus I can't work any more.

Do you realize how difficult it will be for you to become pregnant?

Not as difficult as losing my father, I murmur. She turns to face me and her eyes mellow. "I apologize."

You're not at fault. I know…" I sigh. Although I know it won't be simple, I must take action to support my family. I cannot be this useless.

After a brief pause, Flora announces, "This is what we're going to do." "You're going to move on to step two, but while we wait for more details, we'll look for another way to make quick money."

I nod, well aware that there isn't an alternative. I considered getting a student loan, but it wouldn't be enough; I considered getting a different job, but I'll fall behind in my studies. I don't have anyone to lend me that much money; it's just my family and I. No one who can assist us.

The only thing I can do is become a surrogate. My hand instinctively reaches for my flat stomach as my cheeks begin to flush. Without ever having intercourse, I will become pregnant. Am I really ready to be a virgin surrogate?

Ciara Damien. virgin of 24 years old. student in college. Evans Leonard, the seductive bachelor from the illustrious Leonard family, was employed as a surrogate, so to speak.

I'm not the kind of girl who cherishes being a virgin. The easiest way to become pregnant with Evans' child is to have sex with him.

He asserts that he did not bribe me to give up my virginity. I claimed that I could manage it.

I was completely unprepared for what lay ahead.

* * *

Congratulations!

This was the first sentence of my scholarship award letter and the letter accepting me for admission to NYU. Congratulations! Letters are welcome correspondence.

"The news is good. I nod slowly as I examine the letter in front of me.  I set the letter on the counter and pace about the kitchen as my hands quiver and the letter begins to wobble.

This letter isn't the kind of obligation you have but don't want to fulfill. similar to when you should clean your bedroom but would rather just lay in bed and watch TV. Or perhaps you want to go to the movies even though you know you need to finish your schoolwork. That sort of good—the kind that demands sacrifice but yields a worthwhile end.

Here, a significant sacrifice.

"Ciara?"My roommate Adam is looking at me when I raise my head. "Yeah?"I swiftly reach for the letter as I speak.

He looks at me with his dark eyes and says, "Are you okay?"

I'm just exhausted, yeah. I walk to my room and say, "I'm going to take a nap.

When I started my junior year in New York University, I first two-bedroomWe became excellent friends and made the decision to share a two bedroom apartment.

I head to my room, where I lie in bed and look up at the sky. This week I have three tests and a ton of homework, but I just can't get myself to start studying. My father had a heart attack a few months ago, which was the worst news I could have ever gotten.

My family lives in Arizona, where I was born, but since I'm a scholarship student at NYU, I couldn't even see him. My mother didn't tell me until he was no longer in danger, but that didn't make me feel any better. Since then, my father has been ill, and my mother has had to work longer hours to pay the expenses, leaving my younger sister in the hospital visiting my father.

I have considered leaving New York. A lot.

I was expected to perform a family miracle by being the one who was financially stable enough to buy my parents a home. who can be trusted. I am helpless and worthless here, unable to do anything to help. A part of me wants to get my things and leave, but another part understands I can't just toss everything away. I'm so close to finishing school, to receiving my diploma, and starting my career as a nurse. I can't abandon it right now. But if he suffers a setback while I'm here, I won't be able to forgive myself.

The tear that is running down my cheek I wipe away.

I work, but I barely make enough to pay my expenses and feed myself; I can't send or aid anyone. My dad is getting into more debt with the hospital even as I'm striving to finish my degree.

It shouldn't be this difficult to live. I startle as my phone begins to ring. "Hello?"

Ciara, Flora is calling.

I mutter, "Oh," happy that it's not my mother breaking the bad news. "Oh! I utterly missed the fact that we were going to eat lunch together. Sorry again! I'm headed that way. I fumble for my bag.

"No problem. Go at your own pace; I'm outdoors.

Flora is the only true friend I have. She was my first friend in New York when we initially met, and we've been friends ever since. We met at freshman orientation. I leave my room, shut the door behind me, and get into Flora's car because Adam is nowhere to be found. Though it is a beautiful afternoon, the temperature is still low enough to need a sweater.

Flora and I are frequently compared to each other as sisters, and I can see why. We both have pale skin, long, curly brown hair, and brown eyes. We simply dress differently; she always wears a dressy outfit as opposed to my more laid-back ensemble of jeans, a blouse, and a sweater.

"Hey." She drives away from my location, and I get inside the car while grinning at her.

Everything is fine, she inquires.

"Yes." I stop and sigh. "No."

I draw her attention. I need food right now; you may tell me during lunch.

I chuckle. "Same."

We travel a short distance to Patty's Diner, where we typically eat. What is the state of your father? After we order, Flora queries

"I guess it's the same. I'm not sure; I haven't spoken to my mother since last week. I reach inside the pocket of my sweater for the letter. I say, sliding it over the table, "I got this, though.