4

CAMDEN

Visions of the floor opening up and swallowing me whole engulfed my brain as people flitted to and from around me. All of them were asking inane things about colours, cake flavours, decor and other bullshit.

I tensed every muscle in my torso as a wave of rage built up in my chest. Slowly, I breathed it out, imagining the anger leaving me and being replaced by calm.

‘Relax please.’ The small man with the measuring tape tapped my stiff shoulders.

I did as told, knowing the man hadn’t chosen to be there any more than I had. I didn’t want a tux, and I was sure he hadn’t wanted to have to create and fit one in a manner of days. Though Father would pay a fine sum for him to do it. Refusal would have likely ended with him having a couple of broken bones. So I stayed my anger and packed it back down inside, as I did all too often.

‘You look like someone’s thrown up in your cereal,’ my sister, Katherine, said. She propped herself on the edge of the Chesterfield sofa and picked up one of the champagne filled glasses that someone had left. As though my suit fitting was a celebration.

It was not.

My father hadn’t even let me into his plan before the agreement with the McGowans had been made. It was bad enough that he wanted to marry her, but expecting me to do it?

I gave my sister a level stare, but as usual, it had no effect on her. If there was one person in the world who didn’t fear me, it was Katherine.

‘Come on Cam, it won’t be so bad. I’ve always wanted a sister.’ She tipped the glass upwards and drained it before reaching for another with a grin.

‘She will never be your sister. I don’t know what Father is planning, but the whole thing is a sham. She’s not going to be a part of the family.’

‘She could be. Would it be so bad having someone else on our side?’ I dismissed the tailor with a flick of my head as Katherine spoke.

‘Our side is not her side. She’s on a whole other planet.’

‘She hates Father too.’ Katherine toyed with the stem of her champagne flute.

‘Shush,’ I said, glancing to the far side of the room where vendors of various sorts still pored over flowers and other unnecessary nonsense. ‘We respect him. We don’t hate him.’

‘I hate him. What’s he going to do? Break my arm again? I’m not six anymore.’

‘Being an adult won’t stop him. I’ve seen what he will do to grown men while he smiles like a hyena.’ I suppressed the internal shudder. I’d done enough unsavoury things since reaching my majority, but I didn’t delight in inflicting pain the way Father did. I only ever did what was necessary.

‘Either way, we should give her a chance. Imagine if Father had forced me to marry a McGowan?’

‘That would never happen. I’d take out every single one before I’d let that happen.’

Katherine sighed before standing up. ‘I’m going to try to be her friend.’

‘No, you won’t.’

‘Father has arranged for me to take Maddie dress shopping tomorrow and you won’t be there to stop me. The groom isn’t allowed in.’ If she was anyone else, I’d want to wipe her cocky grin off of her face.

‘It’s not like it would bring anymore bad luck to the wedding, would it?’

‘I don’t suppose it would, but you know how Father likes tradition. Just try to remember she doesn’t want to be coming here either.’

‘I’m well aware. It changes nothing. She is, and will always be, the enemy.’

Katherine shrugged as she left the room, abandoning me to the returning tailor and the swarming wedding vendors. It took a lot more deep breaths to get through the afternoon while maintaining my composure.

Unfortunately, it was Wednesday, and that meant the non-negotiable family dinner. With Mother having fled, and Father having no current squeeze, that just left Katherine, Father and I. Not a single one of us actually wanted to be there, yet there we were, making pleasant.

I’d long found myself a penthouse apartment that looked out of the glittering lights of Edinburgh, but my room in the stark white mansion remained. Our childhood home had always reminded me of a tv psychiatric hospital. Stark and white, with far too much leather padding. On my eighteenth birthday, two days after Mother had left, I flipped and painted my room dark grey in a rare outburst of anger. Father had never shouted at me, but the next day I came home to it painted freshly white. As much as I detested it, I still spent far too much time in the cold, blank mansion. On the surface, it was easier to be closer for business. In reality, I stayed close for Katherine.

Alberto, our butler and general house manager, brought numerous platters to the table and set them down in front of a bored-looking Katherine. Father didn’t hesitate to pull slabs of pork onto his plate before piling the side with roast potatoes.

‘Thank you, Alberto,’ I said, waiting until Father had filled his plate before choosing my meal. Even the order we filled our plates was down to hierarchy. No women first in our home. I took a small portion of pork and loaded up my plate with honey mustard carrots, sauteed cavolo nero, and saffron spiked wild mushrooms. Father always piled on the meat, but our chef made the most delicious side dishes I’d ever had the pleasure of eating. Hopefully Father’s meat obsession would land him in an early grave. The world would be a better place for it.

Katherine picked at the food, never deigning to actually fill up on anything Father expected her to eat. Her own minor rebellion every family dinner. Chef would cook her up whatever she asked of him later. She’d had him under her thumb in the ten years he’d worked for us. He’d so often seen her bruises, and she reminded him of his own daughter. What small amount of healing his food might bring, he lavished on her.

‘Looking forward to the wedding?’ Father asked, as though he hadn’t strong-armed me into it.

‘No.’

‘She’s a good-looking lass. She reminds me an awful lot of her mother at her age. You could do worse.’

‘Do worse than someone we’ve hated our whole lives? I doubt it.’ I stabbed at my mushrooms, impaling them being the only ounce of anger I’d allow to be seen.

‘I’m not asking you to love her. Just tolerate her and keep her in her place until I figure out what to do with her. If they’d marry off their youngest sister to get Mac back, what would they do the ensure Maddie is safe?’ Father topped his wine glass near to the brim and grinned. ‘They’ll have no option but to toe the line.’

‘Why can’t you just take her like you took Mac?’ Katherine slid a piece of potato around her plate idly as she spoke.

‘There are rules. Taking the daughter of another syndicate would bring us more heat than I’d like. Taking Mac upset enough people. They get antsy to work with me if I push too far, and if they think I’ll take their own daughters, it suddenly gets much messier to deal with them. A wedding is perfect. Publicly signing a McGowan into our family is irrefutable.’

‘What do you expect me to do with her?’ I asked.

‘Whatever you like. Just keep her in one piece. Fuck her, ignore her, leave her here. I don’t care as long as she’s there when I need her to pin those McGowan boys in place.’

That familiar surge of anger flamed my insides. I’d seen how little regard he’d paid to my mother, and I didn’t want a marriage at all, never mind like that. It took longer than usual to temper the internal inferno, swallowing it down and locking it back up where it couldn’t bring me trouble. I may have grown too tall, and too fit, for Father to beat me, but he’d find plenty of other ways to punish me if I stepped out of line. I’d started working out until I ached every single day when I was a teen to protect myself and my sister. It had taken a few years to get to where father stayed his hand, and I still felt a gush of glory at remembering his face. The realisation had washed over him like a bucket of paint to the chops.

‘I’ve had someone book you both in for a week-long honeymoon on the island,’ Father said with a grin, as though he was doing me a favour. It took multiple breaths before I could form a response.

‘That won’t be necessary.’ Sure, the island Father owned was the height of luxury. Fully staffed tropical paradise at its finest. It had been years since I’d been there. Going with a woman I had no interest in was the farthest thing from what I needed.

‘See it as a wedding gift. The only people who will hear her screams won’t give a damn about them.’ I shuddered at his words. ‘There are some celebs in the main house, so it’s just the beachfront cabin on the southern tip.’

‘I don’t think I should leave while everything is in turmoil here. The McGowans are furious and there is a big shipment due next we--‘ Father cut me off.

‘I wasn’t asking you.’ His eyes narrowed and his voice grew tighter. I dropped it. Arguing wouldn’t change his mind.

Not only would I have to marry Maddie, but I’d be stuck in the arse end of nowhere with her too.