Four

Chapter 4 Seline

Austin’s voice is like a bucket of cold water being dumped on me. I find my conscious state fighting. I don’t want to pass out.

I can’t let him know!

However, the loss of blood has me woozy, and it’s difficult to hold on to the magic wrapped around me, concealing my Lycan self.

“Come on!” His voice is rough. “My pack healer will be able to help you.” He picks me up so easily, as if I don’t weigh anything.

“I’ll—"

“No!” It’s difficult for me to talk. “Leave…inside…”

He doesn’t seem to understand that I want him to leave me here and that I’ll go inside. But how can I expect him to be able to comprehend anything? I’m barely making any sense as it is.

“My pack healer—"

“Inside!” I try to move weakly, and he glances down at my neck and his face stiffens.

Before I can blink, he turns around, towards the alley door of the bar, and with one kick, the door shatters inward and some internal part of me winces, knowing that this is going to come out of my salary.

But I’m not exactly in a state to be protesting. His voice is hard. “Where is the first aid kit?”

I can feel my vocal chords healing and I gasp, “Office…back…”

He puts me down on one of the kitchen metallic counters that Marty cleaned not two hours ago, after closing down the kitchen. I lay there with my eyes closed, struggling to draw in breath. The healing process is going faster now

that I am no longer under attack and don’t have to use magic.

By the time Austin returns, my awareness is more acute and my bleeding has stopped. My skin is slowly healing, though it’ll probably take a few more hours. But it still hurts like a bitch, and I’m exhausted.

He stares at me, his eyes going to my neck. There’s no mistaking the stiffness in his voice, “You’re a shifter.”

Before I can say anything, he tilts his head. “And a warlock.”

The hunger and interest I had seen in his eyes for me is long gone, and it’s like a bitter slap in the face. All wolf shifters are hostile towards hybrids.

I don’t say anything, managing to sit up, and holding out my hand for the first aid kit. He approaches me and I manage, “You can go. Thank you.”

It’s easier to talk now. Painful, but easier.

“You’re a halfling,” he murmurs, a strange expression in his eyes as he draws closer. I suddenly don’t want him approaching me. The itching sensation is getting worse the closer he gets to me, and I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve actually gone insane.

“It’s called half-breed,” I snap back, my fingers scratching my arm, unable to stop. The minute I speak, I can feel my newly healed vocal chords stretch uncomfortably, and my face twists.

He must have seen my expression because he covers the distance between us and begins unpacking the first aid kit.

“Go.” I’m feeling crazy from this ugly combination of pain and itching. “I can do this. Please go!”

I’m near tears now, and my magic is fluctuating wildly.

“You may be a shifter, but your healing is still slower,” Austin says gently. “If I leave you like this, you won’t heal until the sun is in the sky for a few hours. Let me patch you up.”

He clearly hasn’t realized what kind of shifter I am.

Which makes this whole situation even worse because my magic is fluctuating with his close proximity to me. At this point, I don’t even have to guess anymore. He is the reason why my magic that shields my Lycan self has been so unstable lately.

Whatever the reasoning may be, it can’t be good.

However, Austin is in no mood to listen to me.

But the minute he touches my skin, everything falls apart.

I let out a gasp of pain and feel the magic dissipate. Exhaustion is a bitter enemy, and I slump in my position. But as soon as I do, I feel something move within me.

For years, my whole life—in fact, the only aspect of my Lycan side that I have been able to access—is my speed and my healing ability. I have never felt my wolf even once. That was why my old pack threw me out, along with my mother. Because not only did I not have the ability to shift, I also had no connection to my wolf.

But right now I can feel something inside me. It’s like another part of me, something wilder and more primitive. It stretches inside me as if it’s awakening after a long and deep sleep. It’s almost like it’s under my skin, under every cell, like I am cloaking it with a human disguise over it.

As it stretches and awaken, I feel a wild joy. This odd hole of loneliness that had been within me for so long feels smaller. But there is something more than that. A spark of interest, joy, hope. A fierce love that I can’t understand. My head whips up to meet Austin’s shocked gaze.

“Lycan,” he whispers. “It’s not possible.”

I want to say something, but my wolf—this feral creature within me—is purring.

At first, I don’t understand. I’m trying to wrap my head as I feel this new entity within me. And then, I notice how Austin’s eyes are glowing.

His wolf is very near the surface, and mine is almost making the table vibrate with how much it’s purring. I stare at him, and then I feel something inside me. It’s not my wolf, but the presence of something warm and solid. Something safe.

My heart is beating erratically as I look at Austin, holding his gaze, a memory from my past coming to me.

Fated mates.

A female in my pack had found her fated mate once, and it had been this instant connection. This untouchable bond between them, a partner for life.

Is this it?

“Austin?”

I need him to confirm or deny it. But he’s holding onto the edges of the table, a growl rumbling in his throat as he just watches me, his eyes glowing insanely. I’m not scared of him. This prickle of discomfort whenever I was around him is gone. Instead, I feel free.

Like I’m no longer alone in this world.

Fated mates.

Austin is my fated mate.

After years of loneliness, of being unwanted, of being called a mistake, a monster, to find someone who was made specifically for me is like unimaginable dream. I’ve never had anybody look at me and love me for me, know me for me. But Austin will be that person.

For the first time in my life, I allow my barriers to lower, hope and happiness filling me with a heady combination.

And then I see the expression on Austin’s face. “What…” I hesitate, alarmed. “What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t say anything, and I see him wrench back control from his wolf. It’s almost like a physical struggle, but he manages to do so.

“Austin.” I raise my hand to touch his face, but he jerks back, his chest heaving, an agitated look on his face.

“This never happened,” he mutters. I blink, not understanding. “What?”

“This!” he snaps, glaring at me, before gesturing his finger between the two of us. “This never happened. We never met.”

It’s like he’s speaking an alien language. Nothing he’s saying makes sense. I struggle off the table. “What do you mean? I just…we’re fated mates, aren’t we? I felt it! You felt it, too!”

When he doesn’t say anything and just stares at me, I feel a hint of panic brew within me. “I know you felt it, Austin! What is…what are you doing?” No. This is my chance to be happy. I just have to—

“I don’t want a hybrid for a mate,” He says bluntly. I freeze.

My throat locks as I try to get out the words. “You don’t mean that.”

What does this mean? Nobody, not even my own fated mate wants me? Am I that unlovable?

I’m feeling sick now. “But we’re mates.”

I hate how small my voice sounds, how vulnerable. I don’t show this side of myself to anyone, but here I am, forced into a position where I can’t control my own behavior right now.

“You’re a hybrid!” he spits out as if it is the most disgusting thing in his mouth. “I can’t have a mate who is a hybrid!”

I stare at him, feeling dazed.

“What?” I mumble uncomprehendingly.

“You will ruin everything!” he snarls, and I flinch.

The silence that falls between us in the dimly lit kitchen is stifling. I can hear the crackle of thunder outside as rain begins to pour. I feel numb, watching as

a flash of lightning plays with our shadows, casting them long and wide, and then disappearing.

I try to collect my thoughts as we both stand there, my shirt still covered in my blood.

I can feel my heart trembling in an agony that is so foreign, it is almost darkly amusing. I have been broken so many times that I had begun to think that I was immune. But this pain is different.

It’s like a part of me is being ripped apart. The barriers I had spent years building around my heart, telling myself I didn’t care, are crushed as I finally learn that that one person who was made for me, the perfect match for me, finds me disgusting as well.

I want to give up.

I know that whatever I say and do right now is going to hurt me more than I can imagine. It would be logical to remove myself from this situation. And yet, logic has no place here.

I need to know. I need to understand. I need him to look at me and realize that I am his mate, his partner.

He can’t also turn his back on me.

“Austin.” My voice is uneven. “We can’t choose who are fated mates are. But even I know that they complete an incomplete half. I am your other half as you are mine. I—"

Austin’s back is to me at this point, his fists clenched by his side, and he whirls around, his eyes narrowed into dangerously thin slits.

“A woman who is not even a complete wolf is supposed to complete me? Don’t be ridiculous. You are not a wolf. You are not a complete wolf. And I can’t afford to be tied to something like you. I can’t even bear the thought!”

I reel at his words, feeling like he has just slapped me.

I don’t stop him as he walks out the door and into the rain, leaving me

behind.

How can I stop him? How can I stop him when he despises me so much? Once I know he’s gone, I sink to the floor, a self-loathing laugh leaving my lips. I lean my head against the side of the metal counter, feeling the wetness on my cheeks.

Pathetic. When did my life get so pathetic that not even my own fated mate wants me?