Take my heart

Dear Diary,

Life doesn't really have any meaning left- of course other than jumping from the plane, eating swiss chocolate between the swiss Alps and visiting Disney world. Well the last one was a duh for me. *Sigh* All the dreams seem to bury beneath the hope that someday I might be free, might actually stand up and feel the chill of a different wind along my skin. These wa-

" Sylvia Addison?" The receptionist called out.

"Here." I closed my diary shut then picking my file I dragged my feet in the room I avoided for the past few months.

I was greeted with the same cream colored washed out walls with several medical certificates framed on them. In the center was a huge table with open heart models sprawled on it and a picture of a young boy was laughing to the camera. Behind it a middle aged woman, Dr. Clythia was looking down at my file.

" Hey." I greeted.

" Good evening Sylvia, have a seat." She said without tearing her gaze from the file.

I took a seat opposite from her, slightly feeling nervous now. The hospital scent seemed to overpower and make me vulnerable. If only I could fast forward the time. Or just floor to open up and engulf me in.

" Starting from where we left off last time, are you taking your meds?" She folded her arms and pinned me with her gaze.

" Yeah. Sometimes." I said avoiding her gaze.

" Look Sylvia I'm not going to force you to take the meds because you're mature enough to understand that but I'll just say that the life you've been given, save it. "

I nodded.

" Your tests are not really comforting. The deposition on the walls of your arteries is enhancing. Did you have another angina attack since the first one?" She asked.

" Not an angina attack but occasional minor pains." I looked up at her.

" How many times?"

" Twice in a month."

" Knew it." She murmured under her breath and closed her eyes. She put down her glasses and lightly massaged her forehead.

" He was just twelve when he left me." She stated picking up the picture which laid on her desk. I let her continue.

" He wanted to be an astronaut, would often tell me it's his passion and could not be explained in words. His teachers were worried as his grades were going down. All he did was either paint or watch through his telescope. Once I hid his telescope, upon which he said : " You've taken my passion, mom. My life. How do you accept me to survive?" She smiled sadly as tears filled in her eyes.

" Only if I knew he wouldn't be with us the next day. I would've let him chase his dreams.” A small silence. “ He was hit by a truck.” I patted her back and gave her a glass of water.

" I'm sorry for your loss." I said what every listener says, not sure what else to say.

" Life is short, make it worth living. " it was the last thing she said to me that day.

...

I gripped the stearing tight as I zoomed my Lamborghini through the streets. I put down the volume as my phone began ringing. I picked it up.

" Hey Dad."

" Cupcake where're you?" Dad asked as there was some disturbance behind him.

" Out."

" Eric’s with you, right?" Eric is my personal bodyguard, because dad thinks I'm still little and can't find my way back without being kidnapped.

" Just for your information dad, I'm eighteen now." I smiled knowing I've authority now.

" For me you're still 8." Dad chuckled.

" Oh and call your mom, she wants to talk about something urgent."

" We both know what's 'her' urgent. Dad I don't want to celebrate my birthday in another ball. Just please let me celebrate it my way." I sighed, taking a turn towards home.

" You mean being locked in the room and reading all day or watching Netflix till you lose count of the days?" Dad sarcastically remarked.

" Whatever. I'll talk to you later."

" Don't forget to call your mom."

I ended the call as I parked my car outside our house. The valet approached but I waved him off. I swiftly climbed the stairs to reach my room when I was stopped by my mom.

" Sylvia wait!" Mom was dressed in a purple dress and probably 6inch heels. Nothing unusual there.

" I've been trying to reach you for last two hours. Where were you?" She asked breathlessly.

" I- uh." No way I was going to tell her about my doctor's appointment.

" That doesn't matter. Just go in the room and wear the dress I left on your bed with heels. And-"

"But mo-"

" No Sylvia not today. Go we're already late. "

She pushed me in the room and told me to get ready. A makeup artist was already waiting there. I sighed.

" Just keep it simple. " I told her.

...

I entered the hall while holding my breath. A huge chorus of 'happy birthday' hit my ear making me deaf. As I looked up I saw similar faces: my friends from high school, mom's friends and dad's business colleagues. Was someone left?

" Oh my God look at you sweetie, you look beautiful!" A lady which I did not recognize greeted me and kissed my cheek. I looked prettier than I expected. But that doesn't mean I was comfortable in it. I greeted some of the people and went to stand beside the cake which had eighteen written over it. I had to admit it was the most gorgeous cake ever.

Some of my ex class fellows from high school walked over and wished me.

“ Thank you, guys. Means a lot.” I smiled.

“ If it wasn’t for your mom, you wouldn’t have even invited us.”

“ No way. How can I forget you guys.”

It was getting awkward because I can never learn how to tell someday I’d want them on my ‘personal’ event of life when I’ve always avoided them.

“Ha, you bet.” The girls rolled their eyes.

“ You never even go out with us.”

“ You know I’m not a social person.” I tried to reason out.

“ For God’s sake, Sylvia! Your eighteen now. You gotta go out and chill.”

For you maybe. But for me eighteen is finally having the freedom to drive alone ‘without a bodyguard’ and travelling outside Canada, which my parents are having a hard time agreeing on.

“ I will. I’ve just been busy with college applications.” Another lie.

“ Promise us you’ll hang out with us on our next meet up?”

“I will.”

“ See you around then.”

“ Happy birthday!” My best friend screamed as she ran towards me. I hugged her.

“ Thanks.”

“ Look at you, eighteen hit you so pretty.”

“ It’s all makeup artist’s magic.”

“ Will you ever appreciate a compliment?”

“It- “

“ makes you weirdly awkward, I know.” She completed my sentence.

I shrugged.

“ So throwing the party in a ball, huh?” She teased me, knowing how much I hate grand events.

“Stop.”

“ Fine, I’m sorry. So when’s the cake going to be cut? I’m hungry and the cake looks delicious.”

“ As soon as my mom tells every guest about her new fashion launch. “I sarcastically remarked.

“ oh yeah?”

“ Come on, let’s cut the cake!” Mom clapped her hands to get the attention.

I walked towards the cake as the guests gathered themselves around the table.

“ Go girl, make yourself legal!” Dad shouted. I shook my head as a sudden thrilling vibe began to form inside me.

Just as I was going to cut the cake, the door of the hall opened with a loud creak and walked in the most gorgeous guy I had ever seen. He had high cheekbones with the sharpest jawline and full lips. I gulped. Take a grip girl. There was a pin a drop silence as every head turned towards him.

“ I forgot to bring the gift.” He pressed his lips together. A chorus of laughter erupted around the hall.

Just as I was about to look down our eyes met and he smiled crookedly, melting my insides. Damn! I looked down and shakily cut the cake.

" That's Dexter Ainsworth. He's going to live with us for a couple of days." Mom whispered in my ear, thrilling my hormones even more.

.....