Chapter 3

The inside of the ship was like nothing she had ever seen on television, or even imagined. In fact, it was rather Spartan. The ramp closed behind them as they entered the ship, passed through a “clean” room, and entered the next compartment where Kirk 23 instructed her to sit. He sat next to her and began fastening his seat belts. There were no controls that she could discern, or even display terminals. The walls were bare, and dimly illuminated. Kirk 23 stared at the wall in front of him, silent, as if in meditation. He stayed this way for a few moments and then turned his attention to her.

“We are on our way,” Kirk 23 said. “May I have my cheeseburger and coke?”

“I don’t feel any change,” Enedelia said. “How do I know we’re moving?”

“I assure you, we’re moving at tremendous speeds. We have just left your planet’s atmosphere,” Kirk 23 said.

“But I didn’t feel any thrust,” Enedelia complained. “You’ll have to show me.”

Kirk 23 blinked, raised his hands in a gesture and made a face. A section of the wall became transparent, and she was instantly looking down on the Earth, from God knew how high. She felt a great sense of relief, and yet, at the same time, terror. Though it was dark, she recognized the outline of the Americas by all the lights. Perhaps her decision to leave Earth had been a bit rash, but then she convinced herself anywhere in the Galaxy had to be more civilized and nicer than planet Earth. She was mostly disappointed that leaving Earth didn’t come with an exciting rush of speed and vibration. She wanted the rollercoaster ride and magic, and everything life kept throwing at her was simply mundane, boring, and unremarkable. This was her life. Boring.

“That is the departing view,” Kirk 23 said. “The forward view is not too spectacular. Just stars.”

The Earth disappeared and was replaced with the forward view, and it was indeed, mostly stars. Distant stars, and not as bright as she imagined they would be. And there was no sense of movement. The shot of Earth suggested movement, because the Earth was getting smaller, but this forward view gave her no indication of anything but that the heavens were much dimmer than she had been led to believe by Hubble photographs. Not even the suggestion of colors. Just a few plain, old white, boring stars, like pin pricks in a curtain that would always be beyond her reach. Had NASA doctored all the photos released to the public?

“Why aren’t they brighter?” she asked.

“What?” Kirk 23 asked.

“The stars. Shouldn’t they be brighter?” Enedelia asked.

“It’s because of the angle of the forward sensor in relationship to your sun,” Kirk 23 said. “You can’t see the stars during the day, but they’re still there. If the sensors weren’t screening out most of your sun’s light, you wouldn’t see the stars at all.”

“It looks like we’re not moving,” Enedelia complained.

Kirk 23 rotated the perspective until the moon came into view. The moon was drifting as if it were falling away. It was a small, unremarkable moon, but it was definitely the Earth’s moon. Once again she was disappointed, for it seemed way too small. She wanted to challenge Disney and Spielberg to a fight for raising her expectations.

“It looks so small,” Enedelia complained. “Hell, it looks bigger from the Earth!”

“That’s an optical illusion created by the viewer examining the moon too close to the horizon. Looking up at the moon when it is directly overhead gives you a more accurate idea of its size based on its distance from you. What you are seeing now is its true size to distance ratio,” Kirk 23 said.

“Can we swing by Mars, or Saturn? I would love to see the rings of Saturn,” Enedelia said.

“No,” Kirk 23 said. “I’m not a tour ship. And that was not part of our arrangement.”

“You’re right, here’s your meal,” Enedelia said, handing him the cheeseburger and coke.

Kirk 23 set the coke beside him and removed the French fries from the bag. He looked at them curiously and then to her. “What are these?”

“They’re French fries. Try them. They’re not Micky D’s, but they’re pretty good,” Enedelia said.

Kirk 23 withdrew a fry, put it in his mouth, paused, and then began chewing, nodding. “Yes. These are appealing. I remember these now. It’s missing something. Yes. It’s missing transfat. I’m sure of it. They also require more salt.” He set them down, and retrieved the cheeseburger from the bag. He un-wrapped it from the paper and eagerly bit into it, fully expecting to enjoy it as much as his memory told him he would. He spit it out, making a gagging noise. Enedelia tried patting his back, but the suit was like armor.

He took a breath and said, “That’s horrible. How could anyone eat that crap? Best cheeseburgers in all-the-universe my ass.”

Enedelia handed him the coke to wash the taste out. Kirk 23 nodded, took the coke, sipping it through the straw. There was no disguising his lack of appreciation. He spat that out as well.

“That is not coke,” Kirk 23 insisted.

Enedelia had watched Jen push the coke button on the fountain, but it was possible Jen had gotten the syrup lines that ran from the soda tanks to the dispenser confused. She took a sip from the straw, swirled in it in her mouth.

“That’s coke,” she confirmed.

“It’s nothing like I remember it,” Kirk 23 said.

“Maybe your biology is slightly different and you just don’t enjoy the same tastes?” Enedelia said.

“Or maybe that’s not coke,” Kirk 23 insisted.

“When was Kirk One last on Earth?” Enedelia asked.

“I don’t know if Kirk One was ever on Earth,” Kirk 23 said.

“Aren’t you a clone of Kirk One?” she asked.

“No, you never make a clone of a clone,” Kirk 23 said. “Even I know that. Kirk one is the first Kirk clone.”

“Okay, the original Kirk, when was he last on Earth,” Enedelia asked.

“I don’t know,” Kirk 23 said.

“How old are you?” Enedelia asked.

“In Galactic Time or Earth Time?” Kirk 23 asked, and when she indicated the latter, he said, “Roman calendar? 5 Earth years old.”

She sighed. “That explains a lot. But how old is Kirk?”

“Which one?” Kirk 23 asked.

“The original Kirk, the one whose memories are bouncing around in your head?” Enedelia said.

“Oh, I think he’s in his late seventies,” Kirk 23 said, becoming equally frustrated. “What does this have to do with anything?”

“I’m trying to figure out when he was last on Earth. The memory of him having a cheeseburger at that place, when was that?” Enedelia asked.

“Not exactly sure. I remember he was driving a truck,” Kirk 23 said.

“Can you get me close? In Earth years, please,” Enedelia said.

“1967, or was it 68,” he mused out loud. “I’m having some trouble accessing that information. I didn’t really focus too much on that detail since the information didn’t seem that important during the memory transfer process.”

“Well, that would be enough to explain why the coke tastes different,” Enedelia said.

“Really? You have an explanation?” Kirk 23 said, more interested.

“Yeah. Sometime in the 80’s they changed the formula for the coke product. There’s a song reference to it, by Billy Joel, I think, about the cola wars. It was a big deal. People didn’t want the change, but the new management did, but they refused to sell the old formula, or some nonsense. They made the change and then sells for coke dropped off. They tried bringing it back as classic coke, selling the new coke right beside it. After all sorts of drama, they supposedly stopped making the new coke and just stuck with the original formula,” Enedelia explained. “But my mom says it’s just not the same. I don’t know why they didn’t offer the new product and see how it sold before they went and messed with everything, but then, I am just a stupid teenager, what do I know about running a big corporation like that.”

“Those bastards,” Kirk 23 said. “I just hate corporations. It reminds me of this rickety tin outfit I’m currently working for, the little CREEPS!” Kirk 23 slammed a fist down. “Sorry. Did they fire that management team? And why does this coke taste different if they returned to the original formula?”

“Well, like I said, my mom thinks they just phased out the classic coke, which really isn’t the classic coke, because back in the thirties coke actually had cocaine in it. Anyway, lots of people maintain that coke has never been the same since the cola wars. I think there’s a difference in taste between fountain drinks, canned drinks, and bottle drinks, but supposedly, it’s all the same,” Enedelia said. “As for the corporate leaders, well, they don’t get fired. Ever. They just kind of go on vacation, and get compensated for the rest of their lives. Golden parachutes or some nonsense like that. I don’t understand it all.”

“Me neither,” Kirk agreed. “And I’m very disappointed that my memories don’t match my experience.”

“I understand. My experiences hardly ever meet my expectations. I guess that’s kind of the same,” Enedelia commiserated.

“Maybe I should give up my memories, and you should give up your expectations,” Kirk 23 said. “Maybe we’d both be happier?”

Enedelia nodded, looking at the stars. The stars were much brighter now, but there was still no indication of movement. “How long will it take us to get somewhere?”

“Oh, once my Quantum Drive is fully charged, and the return coordinates are set, two minutes and twenty seconds, plus traffic and docking time on the other side. I should still be ahead of schedule.”

“Okay,” Enedelia said, simply playing along. “How long till the Quantum Drive is fully charged?”

“About fifteen more minutes, maybe?” he offered.

“Okay. Do you have any memories of candy?” Enedelia asked, reaching into her pack. She pulled out a Recess Peanut Butter cup and handed it to him. “Try this.”

Kirk 23 un-wrapped it and put it in his mouth. “Oh, my word,” he said, praising with his mouth full. He had failed to remove the paper cup the candy was sitting in and ate it all. “This is good. No. This is great. Do you have more?”

She pulled out another and gave it to him, this time taking the candy out of the paper cup for him. He ate it up like a true American, hardly letting it stay in his mouth long enough to let it melt. She offered him a sample of everything she had grabbed until he was satiated.

“That was great! Definitely worth the trip. I’m very happy to have come after all. Yes. Okay, the Quantum Drive is fully charged, and it’s time for me to fulfill my end of the agreement,” Kirk 23 said. “I still think you’re getting the raw end of the deal, but, a deals a deal. Um, you might want to strap yourself in.”