Sincerely Yours (Book 03)

The beauty of flying private was that we could go anywhere on short notice. It was unfortunate that we had to leave Hawaii prematurely, but we decided to fly out that night so we could arrive in Houston the next morning. It was a dour flight home. Jess, in particular, was distraught to the point of being nearly inconsolable. Her body shook, and she sobbed constantly, giving her bloodshot eyes and a runny nose.

"He was such a mentor to me," Jess said, when she finally calmed down enough to talk. Her voice was nasal and stuffy. "More than a mentor. But also more than just that big dick."

"God, that dick," Kat lamented. "He was a great guy. But what I wouldn't give to have one more ride on that dick."

"I've never cum like that before," Jess said. "I mean." She stopped. "Sorry."

"It's okay, baby," I said. I held her in my arms and gripped her hands firmly.

The wifi on board was working, and we were able to glean some details from Gloria, Alix, and Brittany, who kept us informed via text. The shocking thing was that, apparently, Marco Vivianno had been battling an aggressive cancer. He was beyond treatment in the final six months of life, kept it private, and simply decided to live hard.

"That's the fucking heroes way to go out," I said with genuine admiration. "You couldn't even tell he was sick a week ago!"

"He fucked as great as ever," Jess said and finally managed a smile. "God, we will have to find a dick that big again. Although I kind of feel like he was once-in-a-lifetime."

We all laughed, and I offered, "That'll make finding another baseball bat all the more fun!"

The girls took the chance to giggle, and shook off the funk a bit.

"I'm so sorry this spoiled what really is the happiest day of my life," Jess said, extending her left hand and admiring her ring. "I'm so grateful for you, John. And I'm so in love with all three of us and our relationship."

"These rings are exquisite," Kat added. "You know us so well. They are absolutely perfect. I'm so grateful for you. For both of you."

"Have either of you looked inside the band?" I asked. They shook their heads. "You should," I said.

They complied at the same time. Kat put her hand on her heart and gasped. Jess's eyes welled up again as tears burst forth. I had had engraved "JKJ" inside, next to an infinity symbol.

"I thought that was apropos," I said.

They put the rings back on, and we embraced in a three-way hug. The melancholy turn the night took couldn't undercut the fundamental joy that coursed through us. Despite the challenges that lay ahead upon our return, it would be good to get home.

* * *

As it turned out, the challenges were greater than I had anticipated. Primary among those was that I hadn't been fully aware how deeply intimate Jess and Marco had become. That changed the evening after Marco's funeral, which occurred the following Friday, a week after we had returned to Houston. Kat, Jess, and I had gone home and felt the emotional drain of the day. We popped a bottle of wine, and Jess started drinking quickly. The depressant nature of the alcohol gripped her, taking her down a dark but honest path. She broke down, and it all came gushing out.

Marco and Jess had been in a relationship. A meaningful one. More than just fucking. Frequently, they went to lunch together and simply didn't come back to the office. Most of the time she claimed to have overnight appointments with clients, she was just spending the night with Marco. I didn't need to ask her if she had fallen in love with him. It was obvious. At the same time, she didn't know he had been sick. The other big surprise was that Jess treated Marco as a 50-50 partner in Infinity, her escort agency.

It was a lot to take in, and my mind wandered back to the angry reaction I had when I walked in on Jess fucking Johnny Burris, the quarterback. In retrospect, it had been the wrong reaction. I was mindful of that as Jess poured her heart out about Marco. I reminded myself to view my relationship with Jess on its honest terms: how she treated me, how we interacted, what our connection was. But I also reminded myself that I had known for a long time that Jess and Marco were fucking. I had watched them numerous times. How I responded to Jess being honest with me would have an outsized impact on our future together.

Kat had sat silent next to me as Jess spoke, holding my hand and gently stroking my leg. She could sense the tension inside me, but I knew she was waiting for me to take the lead on our response. When Jess finished, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. There was trepidation in Jess's eyes.

"Thank you for being honest," I told her and immediately stood up. I held my arms out, motioning her to come give me a hug. She did, and I embraced her. "I love you," I said. "More importantly, I know you. I gave you that ring knowing exactly who you are. Of course, I knew what you and Marco had. You can't hide things from me. I'm so sorry you're grieving, and Kat and I will be here for you to help you work through it."

"Yes, sweetie," Kat said, joining into what became a group hug. Jess was crying again. "Let's face it. You're a size queen. Everyone knew you were an addict for that dick." The girls laughed. "We're all in this together. We're here for you, okay? No question."

"I am a size queen," Jess said with a blubbering laugh. "I really just want to have a weekend to have the three of us together and focus on the future. And maybe party a little. Fuck, I want to party so bad."

We all laughed. It cut through the tension and emotion of the situation. Kat enthusiastically jumped up and walked to the bar area, where she pulled out a large chunk of cocaine. I put my arms around Jess.

"Thank you," she said, her stuffy nose still making her voice nasal. "Sometimes I just live in the moment. I don't think about things beyond what feels good."

"I know," I said. I put a finger under her chin and lifted it up, looking deeply into the blue eyes that shimmered despite her tears. "Don't forget how deeply I know you. I know all of you. And I'm here. I love you. You're going to do things like that. How could I be mad that you had a boyfriend? I had a girlfriend, too." She put her head on my chest.

"I get scared I can't control myself," she said.

"If you want more control, we can talk about how," I said.

"What if it happens again?" she said.

"Then it happens again," I said. "We march on. We deal with it."

"Being with him didn't change how I feel about you," she said.

"I know," I said.

"I feel like I love you even more," she said.

"I love you more, too," I said.

"But who loves these beautiful lines of cocaine?" Kat said, walking over with a mirror containing twelve perfectly cut lines that she had formed off a compact, shimmering, pearly white brick of fish scale coke. Rita's dealer had given us access to his virtually uncut supply.

Kat set down the mirror and handed Jess a silver straw. I turned on, probably too loud, a hard rock station on Spotify. Jess kneeled in front of the coffee table and hungrily snorted two lines, closing her eyes and rubbing her nose with slow satisfaction. It was as if she had been medicated. She handed the straw to Kat, who took her lines with an even greater sense of need. The purity of the coke made it hit hard and fast. They started dancing as Guns n' Roses blasted through the speakers.

"I can't remember the last time I didn't do coke for two weeks," Jess shouted to Kat, as I took my turn at the mirror. We had all abstained in Hawaii and the week we had been home.

"I can't either," Kat agreed. "It's way, way too long. We should be waking up with a line every day."

"Let's just make this weekend a whole fucking binge," Jess said.

The coke hit intensely. This was the quality you got for $125 per gram. It was worth every fucking penny. It had been a long time since I kept away from coke for this long, too. With the girls and the regularity of their habits, I had been doing more. Now, with my tolerance lowered after our time in Hawaii, I felt hyperactive after only two lines. A little bit of buried anger about Jess's admissions regarding Marco bubbled inside me, but I suppressed it. Feeling that anger also gave me a slight affinity for the degrading treatment Jonathan Summers had subjected Jess to at the party two weeks before. I reminded myself that, even fleetingly, to feel that way only underscored the depth of my love for Jess. The people we hold most dear are the ones we are capable of hurting the most. With Jess, I knew she was singular. If I wanted her to know I loved her, I had to accept her the way she was.

In that moment, buzzing on cocaine, despite all the adversity the Fates had thrown at us, I couldn't imagine a more perfect life. I gazed at Jess and Kat dancing without coordination, frolicking their nubile bodies whichever way the high took them. Despite the jiggling movement, their eyes were locked on one another in adoration. Jess's electric smile returned. Kat turned on her TV smile. They were mine, I told myself, and took comfort in seeing the sparkling diamonds on their ring fingers.

The night was about partying. We did a ton of cocaine. We did bumps off each other, but it wasn't about sex. We danced. We talked -- about the past, about our hopes, about fantasies. About Jess's business. About Kat's anxiety over her last day of work, which was one week away.

We were in the middle of Jess talking about how she loved having a boyfriend on the side when we saw the first gray streaks of light signalling dawn behind the trees in the backyard.

"Oh crap," Kat said, "where did the night go? I have to get some sleep!"

"You do, girl," Jess said. "You've got an appointment today!"

"Wait," I said, "I thought, Kat, your first appointment wasn't until next week?"

"Nope," Jess interjected. "The guy wants her while she's still a TV girl. He's paying extra for the privilege."

"Is it the lawyer?" I asked.

"I think someone else?" Kat said tentatively.

"Yes," Jess said. "Since the lawyer gave you creepy vibes, I thought a pro athlete would be a better first client. He's a baseball player and always parties during his sessions. Perfect match."

Kat clapped her hands excitedly. "I'm going to be a real whore," she said. "That sounds so weird to say!"

"I love it," I said. "It's such a fucking turn on!"

"But it means I need sleep!" she said, showing no fatigue at all. "I have to make a good first impression."

"Here," Jess said, getting up to retrieve a three-tiered saltbox that she had repurposed. "A Xanax, a Benadryl, and go do a sinus rinse. You'll crash hard, and I'll wake you up in plenty of time to get ready."

And, in a flash, Kat bounced to the bedroom to rest up. Jess and I stayed up a while longer.

"First day as an official whore, huh?" I said, looking at her with a dirty grin.

"Let's face it," Jess said. "You and I both know that's who she really is."

"I know," I said. I noticed something in Jess's facial expression. "You have plans for her, don't you?"

"I'm going to push her limits," she said.

I chuckled. "It's funny that you put it that way," I said. "From the beginning, I've told Kat I want to push her limits and boundaries."

"One of the dirtiest sluts I've ever met is living inside her," Jess said. Her wired eyes were full of excitement. "It just needs a firm bit of coaxing to get it out."

"What are you suggesting?" I asked.

"I want to find out just how much of a whore I can make her," she said.

"You've thought about this quite a bit," I said.

Jess licked her lips. "We just need to crack that Good Kat exterior, as you call it, to let what's already inside her gush out," she said.

"The way you put that sounds so fucking dirty," I said. "And 'we'?"

"Baby," Jess said, "Kat will do anything you want her to. She has puppy dog eyes when it comes to you. Without work, she'll get bored. We can really have some fun. Real fun."

"Okay," I said, "I like where this is headed."

"You know what I mean," she added. "Kat is always in control. I think that makes her a little tight sometimes. I want her to loosen up. Truly lose control."

"I want her to be a serious whore," I said.

"Deep down? She does, too," Jess said.

"So tell me about her first client," I said.

"Oh, he's perfect for her," Jess said. "I know all her weaknesses. He's going to make her swoon, and she'll just want to do whatever he says."

"She does love an athlete type," I observed.

"He's a hunk, and he's hung," Jess said. "He's dominant, which I wanted, because I want her to get that feeling like you have no choice when you're with a client. And you really don't. They pay a lot of money. They get what they want. That's part of the allure of my agency. You pay, but you get safety, and you get exactly what you desire."

"You've really thought this through," I repeated. "I'm excited just hearing it."

"I take this seriously," Jess said. "I'm really good at it. I feel like it's my calling."

"It's so fucking sexy to see you like this," I said.

"You see me for who I really am," she said. "Do you want another line?"

"I'm down for it," I said, "but if we do that, I'm going to need to fuck you. I'm starting to feel seriously pent up."

"You can fuck me," Jess said huskily. "But I get to be in control. And I'm going to tell you exactly what I have in mind for my new whore."

I smiled and offered her the silver straw. Despite a long night of relentless cocaine consumption, she eagerly snorted two more lines. She finished, hopped up, and stripped while I did two small lines of my own. My cock was hard and ready. I stood up, and Jess kneeled before me, taking off my pants while I shucked off my shirt.

"Sit down," she ordered, pushing me lightly down to the couch. She put her hand to her mouth and licked it, then lowered it to her pussy. She laughed softly and said, "Don't need the spit. I'm soaked."