Silent X

Lianna

The trees were lined up in a perfect row, with the fresh breeze of the air that strokes my skin giving me peace of mind. This park has never failed to impress my eyes because of its natural and alluring architecture. But there is small reason why the view becomes a mess in my eyes.

A small sigh came out from me as I watched my little brother play with her Nathannet.

Yes, his NATHANNET, his best friend, but I ship this two. Just why are they so happy together? Why do they look good together? Why are they damn so sweet? They are still kids in my eyes but it makes me look pathetic in my part that I don’t have this kind of relationship with an opposite sex, older than me.

Kids now a days is uncontrollable, but I cannot judge them, they are best of friends.

But there is ‘but’ again, in me. Urgh.

So then, sarcastically saying, because of this wonderful view in front of me, I felt my tummy growling. I am hungry.

This is me when I’m envious, I get hungry. I NEED HAMBURGER!

Rolling my eyes, I stood up from swinging and called Koujo, my little brother.

"Koujo!"

They both stopped playing and gave me their attention.

"Yes, Lianna?"

Even if he is too far, I heard him.

"Take your time playing with Nathannet, I have to do something! Be careful huh? I'll crush your head if you get scratches! I’ll go back. Bye." I asked for permission.

I trust him and he is loyal to me so I have no worries of leaving them in this park. And we have been used on playing here since he was born. But of course, I’m coming back to get him later because we are going home.

I stomp my feet towards the exit of the park, feeling a bit pissed because …

Damn! I am really jealous. I cannot deny the fact that I envy their simple and happy friendship even though they are still kids. And I believe that love starts with friendship.

Now, I am starting to question my life. Would someone come to my life to love me, forever and unconditionally?

I have been living in the world where I can get what I want and I can provide myself with my own hard work. But love…

What does loving feels like?

I haven't tried entering in a girlfriend/n boyfriend thingy but I am not bitter either. I am here living... and assuming that there is still coming...

Scoffing, I ask myself again out of blue.

Is there still a serious man? I mean... Is there still an honest, understanding, trustful, and courteous man in the world?

Sigh.

It is a painful fact that no matter how I keep my eyes on a man...

Definitely, I haven’t met any man with my standards. But am I asking too much?

Maybe I am too much for being picky that is why there is no man I got interest with. My heart is a rock as what they told me because it is unmovable. Urgh. I don’t know anymore.