Chapter 11

Jeremy studied the image of Monroe. It was a good pic. A sexy pic. It didn’t take much examination for her to be filling his head. He closed his eyes, saw the image in his head in a different light, turning it about in three dimensions, and then assigned a vector and time component. When he opened his eyes, Marylyn was there, standing just as pretty as any day she actually walked the Earth, slightly bent and catching her dress that was blowing up. The magical wind went away and she stood tall, smiled, and rocked her hips. Then her eyes glazed over. That was all she had.

“Nice,” Keera said.

“Right?!” Loxy said.

Loxy hopped up and touched Marylyn’s arm. She withdrew an otoscope from nowhere and performed a quick eye exam. With a little pressure she got Marilyn’s mouth open and looked at the back of the throat. Loxy actually touched the tongue, running her finger in deep and drawing it out, lightly scraping a finger nail on the inside of the cheek, then tasted. Lester didn’t hide his disgust.

“Mmm,” Loxy said, clearly following things in her own head, eyes going up and right. “Jessica, come look at the eyes and tell me what you see.”

The intern hopped up and came straight down to the Marilyn into the center of the space. Jessica took the otoscope and looked in the eyes. She reconfigured the otoscope and touched Marilyn head and then read the information she perceived, intuitively. “Normal body temp, great heart signature. 100 percent oygen sat…” She changed the instrument back to otoscope and passed the light in front of the eyes. They dilated. “The autonomic nervous system is functioning?”

“Is that a question?” Loxy asked, taking the otoscope back. She pointed back to the seat. To Jon, Loxy said: “This is perfect biological construct, fully primed and ready for inhabitation. All it needs now is an operator.”

“Pff,” Lester said. “Perfect my ass.”

“I’d like to see you do as well,” Jeremy said.

Lester scowled, picked up his cane and tapped it twice on the floor, pushing it forwards like shifting into gear. A raptor came from nowhere, head butting Marilyn out of the center of the floor. She completely disappeared after crashing over a couch. The raptor roared something fierce, the mouth air and spittle hitting Jeremy’s face. His eyes were wide, but not with fear. He reached out and touched it. It was just as solid as anything he had ever made. It faded away.

“Come back when you don’t need a picture to push an illusion,” Lester said.

“It’s not an illusion,” Jeremy said. “It’s real.”

“Everything is an illusion, kid,” Lester said. “Do you think you’re really here?”

“So we’re helping him?” Tory asked.

“No,” Lester said.

“But you answered a question, which is helpful, which means, we’re helping him,” Tory said. “We’re committed,” Jon said.

Loxy was amused. She resumed her seat next to Jon. Jon looked to Jeremy.

“What were you arrested for?” Jon asked.

“I needed some quick cash,” Jeremy said.

“So he made apports to pawn off for cash,” Tory said.

“That’s not a crime,” Lester said. “That’s just fair trade.”

“My manifestations don’t last,” Jeremy said.

“Nothing last forever,” Lester said. “Surely they at least taught you that much in school. You did go to school, didn’t you?”

“I hold a different opinion than my esteemed colleague here,” Alish said. “Things do last forever, but all things don’t necessarily get past to the next Planck Frame of Existence. Most people think they just misplace them or the items get stolen, but most the time, they just don’t get forwarded to the next space. Sometimes that’s because the people went in an unanticipated Planck direction. Sometimes the items come back to you, like finding keys exactly where you remember leaving them, only they weren’t there a few minutes ago. This is why the Japanese love pachinko machines. It’s a reflection of reality. I have more insight into this being the tree avatar; plants in general tend to occupy all Planck Frames. Animals are more akin to ghosts, occupying limited niches.”

Jeremy was a little concerned about this explanation. He didn’t want any past creations suddenly coming back at him at random times. He especially didn’t want them coming at him all at once…

“You’re saying my manifestations go on existing elsewhere?” Jeremy asked.

“That, or they returned to the vector from which they were borrowed,” Alish said. “Taking them from their specific frame changes their context and momentum. It’s like putting a deer in headlights. It’s the same reason humans freeze when an alien ship shines a light on them. It’s why they don’t remember things and experience lost time, or experiencing spending more time than what their allotted missing times allows for. How long do your manifestations last?”

“The longest one of my manifestations has lasted is 72 hours. That was the longest I could stay awake,” Jeremy said. “Manifesting makes me incredibly tired.”

“What does being awake have to do with it?” Alish asked.

“I fall asleep, they go away,” Jeremy said.

“Oh,” Alish said.

“Oh?” Jeremy asked. “You can make things that last longer?”

“Well, yeah. We all can,” Keera said.

“I can’t,” Tory said.

No one argued with her.

“Am I harming them?” Jeremy asked.

“Are you?” Lester asked. “You’re having sex with them when they can’t consent.”

“I thought they were just bodies,” Jeremy said.

“Jeremy,” Loxy said. “We’re not judging…”

“Yes, we are,” Lester said.

“We are not judging,” Loxy insisted. “Most people operate from the perspective that it’s okay masturbating over a magazine or to porn. And it is. There this unspoken agreement if we put porn or pictures out there, that people can use them for a variety purposes. One person admiring a celebrity affects the celebrity. Now imagine, a million admirers. It affects people. It’s not one way, though. It’s shared. There is a trade on the unconscious level. You have taken the game to a new level. You’re not just capturing images and manifesting ghosts of people’s past, but you’re blending your essence into it as well. They are not who they were, and they are not who you think they are, and if they managed to last long enough, they would become autonomous. They would have feelings and thoughts and reactions. They would know things, inexplicable things, depending on the personality filters. They are real and at the same time, they are projections.”

“Jeremy,” Alish said. “You do understand, we aren’t here. We are tulpas. I am a manifestation of a tree spirit. My primary origin is in the Forest of Ever, on a planet that is comprised of only plant life and the avatars of plants. My ‘tree’ has roots on other planets, in other forest, in other frames of reality, but not here. Keera, Loxy, Lester, we’re all tulpas- and our only access to earth comes from Jon, or more precisely his host that presently resides on earth due to contractual obligations. Jon, well, our Jon, the one sitting here, he originated here, and he best resembles the host, but he has deviated so far from host that he might be unrecognizable to anyone in the host’s life. Our Jon isn’t here anymore than any of us are truly here. We are avatars.”

“I am real,” Tory said. “I was born here.”

“Being born here doesn’t preclude the possibility you aren’t the emanation of another spirit fulfilling obligations,” Loxy said. “You, Tory, are the tulku of a bodhisattva, an earthbound angel, and indigo child. You have a mission and are living out several, simultaneous existence throughout the multiverse.”

“So much for not telling her,” Lester said.

“I am confused,” Jon said.

“You’re confused?” Tory asked.

“He’s always confused,” Lester said, not catching Tory’s admission that she was confused.

“Your apports don’t last,” Jon said. Jeremy nodded. “Your avatars don’t last. Which means, they arrested you because they thought you were scamming, or stealing back jewelry, which means you’ve done this before. A lot.”

“I haven’t done the pawn shop act in six years,” Jeremy said. “And never in Dallas. I was going to hit twelve Dallas Pawn shops, then a dozen in Arlington, and then a dozen in Fort Worth.”

“Well, he’s not lazy,” Jessica commented.

Loxy smiled, but gave her a signal not to comment.

“So, it doesn’t make any sense. It’s too random to be a sting…” Jon said.

“He’s hot,” Loxy said.

“Isn’t he?” Tory asked.

“She mean, he has eyes on him,” Keera corrected.

“It still feels kind of random,” Jon said. “Even if there were an obsessed lawfully good detective who after years of breaking his brain to figure out how the crime was done and finally out of frustration went to a psychic or remote viewer for a lead, the intel wouldn’t have likely resulted in a positive hit. And, the pettiness of the perceived crime, though interesting, doesn’t seem to have the capturing energy.”

“Unless the detective is super obsessive, can’t let anything go,” Keera said.

“What else did you do?” Lester asked.

Jeremy frowned. “I’d rather not discuss it.”

“We’re done here,” Lester said. “Have a nice life.”

“Would you like to disclose the darkest thing you ever did?” Loxy asked Lester.

Lester was silent.

“Jeremy, we all do things. Dark things. Light things. No one is immune,” Loxy said. “Do you know what lucid dreaming is?”

“I do,” Jeremy said.

“So, you become lucid in a dream. The first thing you probably do is fly. If you’re a teenager, you probably try to have sex with everyone you ever imagined sex with. This is normal. We all start by playing,” Loxy said. “In the dreams, there is consciousness that prevents us from harming others. It regulates the scripts and what happens. The more lucid you become, the more you’re involved in the dream, but never fully in control. The other players, the characters, they have unconsciously agreed to play with you. We play in order to learn. Eventually, you realize the play has become monotonous, and this is when you take a step towards a new level of play. We do light things. We do dark things. And we learn. There is a way above this that is beyond doing light things and dark things. There is more at play here, more at stake here, than just our experience of duality. You are not doing anything fundamentally wrong. You are doing it backwards. Most people learn to play in lucid dreams before they start playing with reality. The thing is, it’s all a dream. Waking life is a dream. Dream equals consciousness. It’s all consciousness. It’s all love, all the time. We’re all waking up, in degrees. We’re all characters in someone else’s dream”

“Even lawfully good cops are just characters,” Jon offered. He mused. “Cops and robbers tend to be derivatives of archetypal energy. They’re actually both the same coin, different sides. One figures out how to break the law to benefit, the other figures out how to break the law so they catch people breaking the law. Cops really have it bad if you think about it. There are chaotic bad cops, and lawfully bad cops, which gives all cops a bad name, and so there is this social aspect or stigma they all have to wear. If a cop is too neutral, or permissive, well, they may get a temporary reprieve from public stigma aspect consequences, but usually don’t last long because the chaotic bad and the lawfully good cops squash these guys. Society can’t have a talking cop, like Andy Taylor. Those days are gone. And the lawfully good cops, well, they’re so rule bound that they tend to fail to factor in how all humans get caught up in life and that our ability to make good decisions waxes and wanes. They’re super limited in interaction patterns, even with family, and difficult to live with because for them the world is literally black and white. Society can’t stand these guys, either. But by god, if you need a law enforcement and they’re not there, well, we get upset about that, too. The more rule bound you are, the more you tend to lean towards wanting obsessively lawfully good cops.”

Jeremy continued to stare into his coffee.

“We are not lawyers. We are not judges or law enforcement,” Loxy said. “We’re magicians. We’re awake. That means we’re aware of our light and dark manifestations. It is reasonable for you not to talk if you don’t want to talk. Opening up in front of a magician, that can have unintended consequences.”

“Just like opening up to a counselor,” Jon said. “You talk about stuff, whether it’s a counselor or another person, things change. That’s the way of it.”

“Not talking about stuff,” Alish said. “Also has consequences.”

“You’re really magicians?” Jeremy asked.

“Maybe,” Jon said. “Or Buddhist Monks that have become aware of alternative, metaphysical possibilities, or maybe we just accessed High Tech. The universe is actually full of ancient, sentient, alien tech, if you know how to access it. It’s indistinguishable from magic. At a certain level, it’s all one and what we call it is irrelevant.”

“So, you’re not arguing duality from Kant’s perspective of nominal and phenomenal worlds…”

“Fuck, he’s actually read real books, not just anime and Playboy,” Lester said.

Jeremy frowned at him, but turned back to Jon.

“Or, Jung’s two selves, mundane and the mythical,” Jon offered. “More people endorsed that than you think. And not just Joseph Campbell. TS Elliott, Walt Whitman, CS Lewis… They all endorsed a complex reality where there is more going on than what can be locally explained. Whatever this is about with you, I doubt it’s about the pawn shop capers. Most the pawnshops would have probably tracked it as carelessness on their part, or internal theft. So if half reported, no one is likely to be going to investigate a series of mysterious ring disappearances, if all you got was fifty dollars.”

“I think I know what he’s looking for,” Jeremy said. He sat the coffee on the floor behind the couch. “I need to go.”

“Let us help you,” Tory said.

“No,” Jeremy said. “If it’s what I think it is… No.”

Jeremy stood up, collecting his bag as he did. Everyone stood up, except Lester.

“But,” Tory said, getting in front of him.

“Tory,” Jon said, gently. “He isn’t ready.”

“But if you go I won’t have any way of knowing if you’re alright or contacting you,” Tory said.

“You have a life. You have a son, friends, people who care,” Jeremy said.

“I care about you. I want to know what’s going on with you. I want to help you,” Tory said.

“You can’t. When things are settled, I will let you know if I am alright. I’ll have the book store call you,” Jeremy said. “They’ll tell you your order came in.” He touched her arm: “Thank you for your kindness.” And to everyone else: “And for your hospitality.”

Jeremy departed. Tory was tearful Keera touched Tory’s arm, and she pulled away, wanted to run after Jeremy, but turned and went to Jon and hugged him.

“Why does everyone I love leave me?” Tory asked.

Jon sat back down, drawing her to his lap. He held her. Loxy sat by them, ran her fingers through Tory’s hair.

“I am glad that’s over with,” Lester said.

“You clearly aren’t reading the energy right,” Keera said. “The fat lady has yet to sing.”

“Explain the fat lady’s song,” Alish said.

“It’s an old opera joke,” Keera said.