5: Ryan

V

PAST...

I sat outside under a tree as I ate my lunch, I am what you call a loner, the background picture who hardly gets noticed aka the invincible kid. 

My high school was shared into ranks ranging from the popular kids, the richest kids, nerds, gothic kids, black kids, many more. I didn't join the ranking because there was no place for a strange kid like me, I hated trying to fit in like why do I need to change myself just because someone else can't take the fact that you are better than them.

The sun wasn't that high up in the sky and today was A little bit windy, I sketch out an all too familiar face the one I have always had a crush on since I moved here when I was fourteen and now, I am seventeen. His name is Jude Andre the nicest and funniest guy I have ever had the chance to come across, he was the first to speak to me when I arrived as the new kid in school. 

I could remember his smile and his cool words but I couldn't talk to him after that day because his sister always hated me and showed me how disgusting she thought I was, she is really pretty but with a dirty attitude. 

My twin brother always had a word for her whenever she insulted me.

One time it was toothless potato. Sometimes I wonder where he gets his insults.

Another time was castrated bean sprout. 

Speechless I tell you. I love my brother so much.

My brother Paul was always the first one in my family that defends me without asking if I was at fault or not, he had his friends but most times he seats outside with me to eat lunch. 

I believe I haven't Said how much I love him so much, he made me realize my writing skills and my art skills as he claims my writing was always a gate way to the mind of a lost soul.

I smiled sadly at the sketch that looked like Jude, I haven't said anything to him since my first day here. I knew he has forgotten my existence just like everyone else and I am not even not shocked, at least it keeps me safe from bullies.

I wasn't really bullied in school so I always had peace when in school far away from the other stupid members of my family.

PRESENT.

I looked at the ceiling of my room as Paul laid beside me saying he won't leave me even though I try to chase him away that she would try to make up for lost time, he was fast asleep an hour after we came home make making it three hours since we returned from the charity ball.

I kept playing back to what happened during the auction process it made me feel whole like I was complete. 

During the auction Jude's daughter began to cry causing a distraction as the maid panicked from the glare Lisa was giving her, the maid quickly rushed out with the boy, as the maid left the hall everything went back to normal except Jude's worried expression while Lisa looks like she had better things to do than worry about her own child. 

What kind of a monster, I mean mother is she? do she think she should be called a mother. Ten minutes had passed but the maid was yet to return with the child and I became worried, I don't know why I was worried but my motherly instinct kicked in as I stood up slowly then walked out also knowing Paul was following behind.

Outside the hall I could still hear the child crying as the maid sang though her voice was shaking like she was about to cry, I followed the voice to the ball room that was now empty only to see her rocking the infant from side to side as her cheeks got wetter. I was about to walk towards them when Paul held my arm.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" he whispered, I understood what he was worried about but I smiled and nodded before she let me go to them while walking behind me.

The maid looked at us in shock and worry but I smiled warmly at her then I signed while Paul interpreted.

"She said could she try to calm her?" The maid looked at me then Paul to see if we were a threat but when she didn't feel any danger, she handed the infant over. I haven't held a child within my embrace for over five years.

I carried the crying infant and laid her head on my chest; she became quiet as she sucked on her thumb. Rocking her from side to side it felt like it was only the two of us in the hall way. 

She finally raised her head and looked up at me, her eyes were almost like mine but darker and it had a spark in them. With a wide grin she hugged me tight then said the words I always missed hearing, I almost started shedding the tears I had held in for so long.

"Mommy" well she sounded mature to be two or three years old. 

A gasp from the maid snapped me out of my thought as I finally noticed I was crying; the little girl kept her tight grip on my neck while I looked at the faces of the maid and Paul.

Arching my brows in question the maid finally spoke.

"She hasn’t spoken, I mean she hasn't said anything since I started working as her nanny three years ago. He only cries"

"What do you mean by you haven’t heard her talk" Paul asked on my behalf.

"She is five years old and from what the other servants of the house told me, they said she only cries and doesn't talk except when her father is there whenever her mother is around, she stops talking and starts crying"

Ok that's not normal, why would a child cry at the sight of their mother.

Like I didn't cry at the sight of my mother when I was younger.

"She is five? Why is she so small? What is her name?" Paul said as I focused on the child in my arms. He was really so small if not almost malnourished.

"Her name is Ryan; she doesn't eat much except when her dad feeds her and her mother is so materialistic that her daughter seems to have faded from her sight" she said with an irritated look at the thought of her Boss’s wife Lisa. That sounds like a woman that used pregnancy to hold a man down intentionally till she gets what she wants and forgets the child's existence.

If only I had the chance again to hold my children in my arms, that would have been the best thing ever.

"Mommy Ryan is hungry" she said cutely. I smiled before looking at the maid who rushed to bring out a plate filled with sandwich, peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

The maid looked so eager; her eyes shone brightly at the sight of the young child in my arms eating away happily. It seemed like it was the first time she saw Ryan eating happily.

She was eating as she played with the charm around my wrist happily, she wanted me to feed her and I did and as soon as she drank her smoothie she went to sleep. During the time of Ryan falling asleep Paul introduced us to the maid as Paul and Ellie.

It was time for the auction to be over and I needed to leave here so I handed him over to the nanny and we bid her farewell as we walked out of the entire building as I felt happy even if it was for 50 minutes.

"Something isn't right Pure" Paul said but I just ignored him, right now I needed to sleep. I later noticed he had fallen asleep and after thinking about tonight, I yawned finally feeling tired and I went into a deep slumber the one I haven't had for the past five years of my life.