Wanted Him

LILA

“Heaven help me!" I muttered to myself as I entered my room.

With Ronan and Joan gone to who knows where, I couldn’t stop pacing in my room.

He was off limits, but he was who I wanted to father any child I would ever have. Caden is smart, and has strong wolf traits. He was drop dead handsome and intelligent.

I hope I didn’t get addicted.

He's staying with us, making it easier for me to access him. It’s not like he didn’t have the money for a penthouse, or even a freaking mansion of his own.

But no, my brother insisted that he stay here for the time he would be in town. And now, it felt like the walls of this house were closing in on me. No matter how big it was, it wasn’t big enough to escape the heat I felt whenever Caden was nearby.

I leaned against my vanity, staring at my reflection. My heart was still racing from the conversation we had earlier.

A knock on the door broke through my thoughts, and I jerked upright. Without thinking, I quickly smoothed down my clothes, glanced at myself in the mirror to make sure I didn’t look like a total mess, and hurried to the door.

I opened it, expecting… Well, I didn’t know what I was expecting.

But it definitely was none other than Lady Rose, the kind elderly house matron who’d been with our family for years. She gave me a warm smile, causing the wrinkles around her bright blue eyes to cringe. Her gray hair was tied into a bun.

"Lady Rose," I forced a smile, though my heart was still hammering in my chest.

Her eyes twinkled, and I swore there was a hint of amusement in them. "Were you waiting for someone, dear?" she asked, her tone light but knowing. "You look a bit… disappointed."

I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks, and I quickly shook my head. "No, no, I wasn’t expecting anyone," I said, too fast, trying to sound casual but failing miserably. "Just… lost in thought, I guess."

Lady Rose chuckled softly, clearly not believing a word I said. "Well, I wanted to let you know that your brother asked me to give the staff a little break. They’re all in the servants' quarters for the rest of the day. But if you need anything, just ring the bell, and someone will come right away."

"Thank you, Lady Rose," I said, my voice a bit more composed now. "I really appreciate that."

She gave me one of her motherly smiles, patting my arm gently. "You’re welcome, dear. I’ll be retiring to my chambers now, but you know where to find me if you need anything."

I nodded and watched her walk away before shutting the door with a soft thud. The second the door closed, I let out a groan and buried my face in my hands.

"Get a grip, Lila," I muttered to myself, scolding the girl in the mirror. "You’re acting like a schoolgirl with a crush."

Well, this was more than a crush… Arrgh!

I shook my head, trying to snap out of it, but then another knock came, louder this time. My heart skipped a beat, and my breath hitched. Who could that be?

I opened the door, expecting—actually hoping—it was Lady Rose again, but it wasn’t.

Caden.

I froze, my eyes widening as I stared at him. He stood there in the doorway, looking as composed and frustratingly handsome as ever. His eyes locked onto mine, and I saw something flicker in them—something that made my pulse race even more.

"Can I come in?" he asked, his voice low, almost hesitant.

"Uhmm, yeah," I whispered, my voice barely audible. I stepped aside, letting him in without a second thought, though my mind was screaming at me to slam the door shut.

As he walked into my room, I closed the door behind him, the sound of it clicking shut far too loud in the quiet space. I turned to face him, trying to keep my breathing steady.

"We need to talk," he said, his tone serious. His eyes were on me, but they didn’t have that playful glint like before. Now, they were filled with something else—something heavier.

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to nod. "Yeah… we probably should."

He ran a hand through his hair, looking like he was debating something. "About what you said earlier… Lila, I can’t. I can’t do this to Ronan. He’s my best friend, and I already feel like I crossed a line that I can’t take back."

I could feel the sting of rejection, sharp and sudden, but I tried to hide it. I wasn’t going to let him see how much that hurt. Instead, I forced a smile, hoping it looked convincing. "I get it," I said, my voice soft but steady. "I do. But I meant what I said—no strings attached."

He sighed, his eyes narrowing slightly. "That’s not the point, Lila. You’re his sister. And what happened between us... it wasn’t planned. It just happened."

"It didn’t feel like a mistake," I whispered, stepping closer. "Did it feel like a mistake to you?"

For a moment, he didn’t answer, and I could see the conflict in his eyes. His jaw clenched, and he looked away, like he couldn’t meet my gaze.

"Lila, I’m not looking for a relationship," he said, his voice rough. "I’m not interested in love or commitment. Hell, I’m not even supposed to be here right now.”

I felt a sharp pang in my chest, but I pushed it down, refusing to let it show. I couldn’t afford to get emotional now.

"I’m not asking for love," I said, my voice low and deliberate. "I’m not asking for forever. I’m just asking for this. For now."

He looked at me, really looked at me, like he was trying to figure out if I meant what I said. And I did. God, I did. I wanted him more than anything, even if it was just for the moment. Even if it wasn’t forever.

"Lila, this isn’t a game," he said, his voice rougher now. "If Ronan finds out—"

"He won’t find out," I cut him off, stepping even closer. "This stays between us. No one needs to know."

His jaw tightened again, and I could see the tension radiating off him. For a second, I thought he was going to walk away, that he was going to say no and leave me standing here with nothing but the ache of wanting something I couldn’t have.

But he didn’t move. He didn’t leave.

I took a deep breath, my heart pounding in my chest as I closed the distance between us. I stood on my toes, leaning in so close that my lips brushed against his ear.

"No strings attached," I whispered, my breath warm against his skin.

I pulled back just enough to see his face, and for a moment, his resolve wavered. I saw it in his eyes—the same desire that was burning inside me. It was still there, even though he was trying so damn hard to fight it.

Fuck.

I wanted him.