Married Without Love

||Mishal's POV||

I looked at my reflection in the mirror but didn't look into my own eyes. How could I look into my own eyes when I felt disgust from myself. The dress which I wore was beautiful but I wanted someone who was worthy to wear it but I guessed fate didn't like it.

I knew I was ruining someone else's life but what could I do when he himself wanted to marry me. When he was only one, a stranger, who opened the door for me when all the doors were closed. The dress was so heavy for me to carry but I had no say in all this because I didn't feel qualified to question anyone.

This all felt so real but in reality it was all fake. This marriage was like a verbal contract or a compromise. It was not a real wedding but for the whole world it was real.

I sighed and looked down at the bangles which my mother in law made me wear. She was such a beautiful person by heart and was really happy about her son's wedding. I didn't have any heart to ruin her happiness after all this was all happening for her.

“Ma shaa Allah! Look at you! You look like an angel. Surely, my son will not take his eyes away from you today,” My mother in law said with a smile, standing in front of me.

I tried to smile and looked away. She grabbed my hand and slowly took me out of the room.

"I, Danial and amma bi always thought that it would take ages for Zayaan to get married. I was losing the desire of my only son's wedding. But thank God you manage to stir his heart," She said with a soft smile.

Amma bi? I heard about her from Zayaan. He told me that she was his paternal grandma who wanted to attend our marriage but unfortunately she was sick right now and was in the village for the recuperation.

“Finally we are going to see him getting married to a beautiful woman. I just want to plead one thing from you, dear. And that is the happiness of my son. Please always try to make him happy. I hope you bring his smile back,” She added and pleaded in the end.

“I promise you aunty. I always put Zayaan’s happiness first,” I said to her because I had to keep him happy after what he did for me.

I was under his debt after all. Aunty stopped and hugged me which made me tense but I quickly relaxed in her motherly hug. She rubbed my back and kissed my forehead.

“Thank you, dear. And one more request, call me mom.”

I gave her a small smile and watched her walk out of the room because someone was calling her. Few minutes later, some girls also came and helped me carry my heavy dress as they were taking me out of the room.

“Wow! You are looking so beautiful!” One of them complimented me and everyone agreed.

“After all she is Zayaan choice,” Mom said, proudly and smilingly.

They took me in the beautifully decorated hall where few people were gathered. I looked down at my hands which were on my lap and tried to control my heavy breaths and tensed nerves. I was getting nervous second by second because I didn't know anyone properly.

I was feeling alone and missed my family but I couldn't call them and here in everyone's eyes I was an orphan who had no relative.

Suddenly, everyone became silent and footsteps of someone was the only noise which echoed in the hall and someone sat beside me which made me more tense.

Imam asked me,

“In the presence of everyone I ask you Mishal Shah,

Do you accept Zayaan Khan as your husband?”

That was it, now there was no go back. My breath struck and I tried to exhale.

He asked again,

“Do you Mishal Shah accept Zayaan Khan as your husband?”

I tried to open my mouth but my mind was not helping me. It was all like my mind took me in my past which I wanted to forget.

A hand was placed on my hands which snapped me out of my past. I looked up and saw it was mom, my mother-in-law to be. She gave me a small courageous smile but her eyes held nervousness. I knew I was making everyone wait and nervous.

“I do!”

I finally said it thrice. I felt my heart beating faster. Mom kissed my cheeks and congratulated me.

“In the presence of everyone I ask you Zayaan Khan,

Do you Zayaan Khan accept Mishal Shah as your wife?”

“I do!”

He repeated it three times. Unlike me, he didn't make anyone wait for their answer and his emotions were well hidden. Everyone congratulated us one by one. But suddenly, I felt suffocation and it was getting hard for me to breath.

“Are you fine?” Mom asked, putting her hand on my cheeks as black dots slowly appeared in front of my eyes.

I nodded my head but felt lightheaded and dizzy. I hadn't eaten anything properly and because of it I felt weak.

She didn't seem to believe me because I was unfocused and couldn't understand anything properly. There was a small continuous beep sound in my ears giving me a headache.

“Mom. She is not fine. Let her rest,” Zayaan said to mom.

I didn't look at him because I was scared to look at him. Why? I didn't know the reason maybe because I was in his debt and felt myself a burden on him.

Mom agreed and took me in the room and helped me with my dress as I sat on the bed.

“Dear, you are looking pale,” Mom said looking at me.

“I will be OK after a little rest, mom.”

She smiled and said, “Have rest because you need lots of energy tonight for reception and for midnight.”

I looked at her with wide eyes and tensed thinking about her last word. She giggled, probably thinking I was shying but in reality I was stressed and controlled my uneven breath before she noticed my abnormality.

I exhaled slowly and exhaustively as she went out of the room. I relaxed myself by telling nothing would happen in the night because this was a type of contract marriage and he wouldn't be interested in me.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on the headboard. I didn't know when darkness took me and trapped me.

I quickly opened my eyes when I felt someone touching my feet. I sat straight and saw Zayaan removing my heels which was uncomfortable for me right now.

“What are you doing?” I asked him, nervously as I was getting tensed from his touch and moved my feet from his hold.

“Removing your heels. Your feet must be uncomfortable in them. It will cause pain you pain,” He said and started removing it again.

After removing them he placed a tray in front of me and it's smell made my stomach growl.

“Finish it then change into something comfortable and have rest before beauticians come again,” He said then went out of the room quickly, leaving me alone.

I looked at the closed door then at the tray in front of me. I patted my hungry stomach and closed my eyes with a sad sigh. Few tears left from my eyes but I quickly wiped them. I opened my eyes and started eating while drowning in the painful but precious memories.