2

I paced around the office, becoming more and more panicked as the situation dawned on me. My hands were flung around the air like I was trying to land a plane in the middle of Manhattan. The walls were shrinking and the colors disappearing. She couldn’t possibly be saying that she has already made the decision, told the alpha. She wouldn’t do that, would she?

“This is just a nightmare Maylea,” I tried to convince my brain, pinching my arm in hope that I would wake up safely in my bed upstairs. It had to be a dream, a nightmare. This couldn’t be happening. It’s a nightmare. It’s a nightmare. It’s a nightmare. Please be a nightmare. “Why won’t I wake up!” I screamed, feeling like I was going insane.

“Maylea, you have to calm down, everything will be fine.” She grabs my hands and holds them tightly to her chest, forcing me to look at her. I could feel her heart and my pulse, and I see it. I see the reassurance in her eyes, the comfort, and the seriousness. Her tired beautiful eyes have watched me grow up. For a moment, I can see her fear, but more prominent her worry and affection for me. It crashes over me in waves. She takes a couple of deep breaths, encouraging me to do it with her. I follow her rhythm, focusing on the expansion of my lungs Just as I manage to resupply my brain with oxygen, there are two hard knocks on the front door.

“He’s here already?!” I look at her with wide eyes, the calm flying over my head, as she moves out of the office.

“I said there was an emergency. He’s here with the Luna, you know how much she loves to help.” She speaks over her shoulder and I follow her into the foyer, hoping badly that the person on the other side of the door is the mailman. I feel like throwing up and I know Cecilia is experiencing something similar. For every step, my heart skips a beat yet at the same time it beats harder than ever before like it wants to break my ribs and beat my lungs. Cecilia makes her way to the door. It feels like decades as her shaking hand floats towards the door handle, gripping it softly before opening the door with a soft click. The next moments dragged out into what felt like eternity, as the door inched open. I looked up just in time to see Cecilia bow her head, myself copying the action straight away. My hands are cold and clammy and I quickly and as discreetly as I could, wipe them on my pants. I must look like a mess.

“Hello ladies, you may rise.”

His voice is stern, the authority rippling from him in strong waves. I don’t really know what to say or do, but before I am given a chance, he speaks up again.

“Where will we talk?”

Cecilia nods her head towards the office before she retraces our steps from seconds ago. The Alpha follows shortly, and I go last, not really keen on the idea of having such a powerful man in my blind spot. I notice the Luna’s absence, but do not dare comment on it. You never question the Alpha. The Alpha, upon entering the room, had a quick look around before heading straight for the desk, settling in the throne of the room. He looks expectantly at Cecilia who in turn looks at me.

“What’s the emergency?”

He seems patient yet impatient, or maybe the blood rushing in my ears is disrupting my hearing. He went straight to the point, and I appreciated the avoidance of small talk, even though I could use some more time to gather my thoughts. However, even though I don’t have a wolf, the urge to answer a direct question from my Alpha is strong. It was new territory, opening up on command and sharing something I have hidden behind a layer of shame and denial. New and unknown territory and I did not know how to find my way in it.

“Em…I..eh” Cecilia looks at me in anticipation and I get lost in her eyes, trying to form a coherent sentence of the words bolting around my mind. I could not speak, my tongue glued t the tops of my mouth which formed a small smile out of instinct.

“Please, I don’t have all day, my Luna is waiting for me.” He sighed with tiredness and concern and I immediately felt guilt bundle in my stomach. He has had a lot to do. There’s been an increasing number of Hunters close to pack borders. He probably doesn’t want to leave his Luna alone. Makes me wonder why she is not here with him.

“Alpha Vincent, sorry, yes. You see, Iam19andhaven'tshiftedyet” I’ve never spoken so fast in my life yet, every word felt dreadfully long. I was telling my darkest, twisted secret, sharing my weakness. It felt like I was gutting myself. I’m pretty sure I look more like a scared lamb than a fierce wolf.

“Either speak clearly or don’t speak at all.” He was losing his patience and I was close to shitting my pants, gross but a fair description of my feelings at the moment. Cecilia looked at me, taking a dramatic deep breath as a way to remind me to keep calm and breathe.

“I’m 19 and haven’t shifted yet.” Immediately, the chains that had been weighing on my shoulders wrapped around my heart and squeezed in anticipation. My stomach became a jungle on fire and my throat burned from the stomach acid that had risen. It’s in moments like these where you reconsider everything, and time stands still. Like when you're hiding under a table during an earthquake, or under a blanket during a thunderstorm. It reminds me of my nights at the roof.

“Ok”

I want to scream. I want to draw a burning house. I want to cry.

“Is that all?”

He stood up. I wanted to say something, anything. I wanted to scream at him that his ok wasn’t worthy. I wanted to tell him, as he turned his back to me and walked towards the door, that this isn’t some silly matter and that he could at least react. My blood was boiling, the ant that had previously crawled in my veins was dead and all that was left was confusion and irritation.

His back tensed and a low growl could be heard clearly. It was vibrating off the walls and the room filled with red anger. It was scary to watch. Before I could apologize to the Alpha, he bolted out the door. Did he really just leave? Did I really tell him, or was it all in my head?

“Maylea! Hunters have breached the border. Help me get the kids to the bunker!” Cecilia screamed and ran out the door. I could hear her feet hitting the stairs, quick thumps as she ran up the stairs. It takes me a second to really understand what happened in the last couple of minutes and to move my feet. I rush out the door to see five kids gathered in the hallway. Isabella, the youngest one at three years old, seemed half asleep. Jeremy seemed to be in his own little world, observing what’s happening. Then, Tristan, Juliet, and George were crying and Molly was… Molly isn’t here.

“Where’s Molly?” I shouted, not really to anyone specific but more in panic. My eyes met Cecilia’s eyes and she looked panicked, shaking her head. I was just about to shout for her when an earth-shattering scream zapped down the stairs. I ran faster than my heart was beating, my steps thumping as seconds on a clock. Molly. Molly. Molly. That’s the only thought in my mind. The door to my room was wide open and though I could only see her back, Molly was not Molly. She was stood still as a dead tree, eyes locked through the window. I walked towards her with careful steps and kneeled beside her. For a moment it seemed as if the world had suddenly become silent.

“Molly, we have to go,” I said the softest way I could manage. She didn’t answer, her mouth hanging slightly open in a pout. “Molly?” I tried again, my voice laced with more concern because of the time pressure and her tears. “They killed them.” Her voice was shaky and the horrific sadness on her face, the countless tears on her face… it killed me.