Chapter 5: Letter

Dear Mason,

I honestly don't know why I'm even writing this to you in the first place.

Quite honestly if I've grown the guts to actually place it in your locker instead of stuffing it in a box along with the six other letters I tried to write before this, someone better award me with a trophy.

I think in actual sense I'm writing this to try and find a way of talking to you, being with you in some sort of way.

Because I know for a fact if I approached you as the plain Jane I am you wouldn't even glance in my direction.

But then again why would you, you see right through me without ever really seeing me to begin with, but it's okay over the years I've grown accustomed to it.

Funniest thing is that today I saw you passing the halls confidently and in a moment of sheer hope I greeted you, only to be meet with silence.

Yet again you looked right through me Mason Harper, but it's okay now, it doesn't hurt anymore.

It's better admiring you from after, getting too close would only cause problems.

Sometimes I want to get too close though, to the point only a thin line is separating us, but distance is good distance is healthy for you.

For you, not me but it doesn't matter, you're happiness comes first.

Always even if it breaks me.

However don't worry about me, it's how I am and how many I've always been.

I sacrifice myself for the well being others because in my house I don't come first, I'm not a priority, never have been never will be.

That's why to me Mason I want you to have the best life ever, weather or not it affects me negatively after.

Plus everything and everyone in my life affects me negatively, with you what would be the difference?

Maybe because I am willingly allowing myself to be your doormat, because we sacrifice our dignity and pride for those we love.

Love.

I love you, I always have and always will, I've known this since second grade. Yet it took you 11 years to notice my existence.

Funny huh?

How we notice people even before they notice us. We care for them even before they learn our name and are willing to give them the world although they can afford it without you.

It's what love is, bending your back backwards for those who don't notice it.

But what happens when you're back cracks? You've bent so much you crumbled under the weight and pressure of it all.

Now the question becomes,if you bent over backwards without an ounce of dignity left, if you're back broke, would you still bend?

For you I'd bend

Always,

Sincerely,

Me.

P.S: you look good In green it brings out your eyes.