Chapter 3

In a bustling street in the markets of Nextar city

Business people called out their wares, and the bustling crowds moved around. The dirty gutters packed full of waste gave out a rancid smell.

"Furrnown! Furrrnown!!!"

The bus drivers shouted to the passing crowds while huge droplets of sweat fell from their bodies.

Cold water hawkers moved with great dexterity around the moving cars as they hawked their wares. To the inexperienced eye, they were dancing on the thin line between life and death.

In that same street, a statue of an ancient warrior looked at the heavens arrogantly and his sword pointed threateningly at the earth, not minding the caked droppings that birds accumulated throughout the years on his face.

At the feet of the statue stood a black-haired man with pale skin who wore a slightly rumpled but clean suit. His attire made him look totally out of place with the environment.

His face had a deep look of despondence and his eyes looked worn out.

Derrick looked on quietly as the people of Nextar City went about their daily lives, not minding anyone around them, except their prospective customers. The customers themselves only had eyes for the goods they wished to procure.

Everyone moved on with life and concerned themselves with only their own business. Everyone passing by had their bottled-up sorrows and swallowed-up problems.

Some people try to forget their problems with alcohol, some of them turn to cigarettes, and some of them like Derrick's own mother try to forget their worries by busying themselves with every single piece of work around them. Both the necessary and unnecessary.

When times were still normal, he was just like them.

Those days, he tried to forget his problems and worries by drowning in bottles of beer.

Everyone tries to use things to distract themselves from their problems. They know it's there but they just want to disregard it, and maybe if it was ignored for a long time, it may go away someday.

But deep within, everyone knew it never worked like that. No matter how much they numb themselves to the issues in their lives, they just stay stuck to them. Until they eventually do something about those issues.

Derrick knew his issues wouldn't get numb. Not this time anyway. Even five packs of beer wouldn't do. The issues remained fresh like a new wound that gets pried open constantly even when it shows no sign of healing.

And it festered in his soul, slowly eating him up until only a husk remained.

It wouldn't go away.

Not this time.

Derrick took a look at the streets of Nextar City again and shook his head. After which he trudged to the nearest bus park.

"Nextar to Burnim! Nextar to Burnim!". The cab driver called.

"One seat ". Derrick said to him.

"Get in."

He waited for the cab to get filled with people, but he noticed the cab driver was a little greedy because he kept taking in passengers until it seemed like a sardine inside his cab.

There was hardly any space in the cab and the air inside had a smell of sweat.

Derrick did not mind. He was already used to this kind of life anyway.

He endured the long ride to Burnim while ignoring the many discomforts of the ride.

After some hours, he arrived at his destination and got out of the cab. He then picked up another cab and gave the driver directions to his mother's house.

When the cab arrived at the gate of her house, he got off and paid the driver.

Derrick looked at the sign that was on a wooden stake in front of the house and sighed.

It read;

-------

[BEWARE OF TRESPASSING!]

[THIS IS THE PROPERTY]

OF

[THE GOVERNMENT ]

……….

Derrick waited until the cab had driven away, then he scaled the fence and broke into his mother's house.

He entered the living room and started looking around.

When he saw all the familiar objects in the room, suppressed memories bubbled up.

Memories of all the good times he and his family had in this very house, all the lovely memories of the holidays spent here.

He saw the window his son Jake had cracked when he played football with his cousins. He saw the awkward decorations his mother had forced him to put around the house. The angel on the Christmas tree the full family made piece by piece. It was very ugly though.

The festive decorations showed the excitement for a holiday they never got to celebrate.

A small line of tears started pouring from his eyes and he crumbled to the floor like a broken doll.

He remained that way for almost three hours. He stayed silent on the ground as tears flowed involuntarily from his eyes.

As Derrick's emotions rose like a rising tide, a strange feeling washed over him.

No.

It was not a strange feeling.

It was a very familiar feeling he had been trying to avoid for the past few days.

He had been suppressing it for a while now but he just could not continue.

He could feel that strong resolution on a decision that he knew was horrible. But his emotions kept rising until his mind became set and determined on that decision.

He stood up with a little difficulty and picked up a small notebook from the bookshelf. He tore a page from the book and started writing on it.

[TO MY FAMILY WHEREVER YOU ARE (SONIA, MOTHER, DARREN, ISABELLA, JAKE, DAVIS, ANNA, JOHN, DANIEL, VICTOR, GREGORY, AND JACQUES)]

[ I WANT TO HOLD ON, LIVE ON, FIGHT ON, SURVIVE FOR YOU ALL.]

[I WANT TO LIVE THIS LIFE AS IT IS HOLDING MEMORIES OF YOU.]

[I KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO, BUT I'M SORRY. I'VE ALREADY LOST TO THIS LIFE, AND I'VE ALREADY LOST IN THIS LIFE.]

[I KNOW I CAN'T STAY IN THIS LIFE ALONE ANYMORE.

I AM COMING TO MEET YOU ALL]

[PLEASE WELCOME ME.]

He tore another page and wrote.

[TO SONIA MY WIFE ]

[I KNOW YOU LOVED MY POEMS, SO I WILL WRITE A LAST ONE FOR YOU FORGIVE ME THOUGH IF IT IS HORRIBLE, I AM HELD UP BY GRIEF. EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT GET TO READ IT, YOU KNOW MY HEART.]

......................................

I'M COMING TO SEE YOU

Please hear me now my thoughts,

And add it not to my faults,

Even if I hear not your thoughts,

"I'm coming to see you soon". So, I thought.

Though in darkness, you might lay,

"Or surrounded by lights". I should say.

Meeting you I will anyway.

"Welcome ". From you, I pray.

Should myself I find in hell,

From heaven scorn me not in hell.

For like the admiration for you when I fell,

To heaven shall I look to you from hell.

Welcome me please my wife,

For I'm coming to see you if not in this life.

...............................................

He stood from the floor and took the notes he had just written on.

He left the house and took a walk to the nearby cemetery where his family had been buried.

When he arrived at the gates, he hesitated for a moment, but a determined glint flashed in his eyes and he entered.

His family's graves were at the northwest of the cemetery, so he had to walk for some time before he got there.

He looked at the twelve gravestones and his head hung in dejection.

He burned the first note he had written and scattered its ashes on their graves, after which he went to his wife's grave.

As he got closer, his heart started tightening. He knew if he completed his actions, it would be final. No going back for him.

When he got to the front of her grave, he chuckled sadly and knelt at the flowers near her gravestone. He took out the remaining note and set it ablaze.

***

On the main bridge, Nextar

It was a hot sunny day on the noisy bridge of Nextar

Vehicles honked at each other and the drivers strained their voices while they hurled insults at themselves.

The cars and the buses moved like tortoises in the never-ending traffic

The bright sun gazed down in anger as if determined to burn off the sinful mortals from the earth.

Molly looked at the dwindling bottles of cold water in the basket that she used to hawk.

She recalled the sad times when her bowl would be filled to the brim with bottles of cold water, and she concluded that today was a good day.

"Sales were good today". She thought excitedly.

"Give me one bottle". A cold voice called.

She looked up and saw it was a dark-haired man in a clean and well-ironed black suit.

She handed him a bottle and the man paid her.

She watched him as he walked along the railings of the bridge.

He was well dressed and good looking so he caught her attention.

He walked along the railings and stopped at a point to look with interest at the murky waters.

When Molly thought he would get bored with looking at the waters and get on his way, he suddenly with a swift movement climbed upon the railings.

"What the f**k! Hey!!! Get down! Psycho! What do you think you are doing? Get down!!!".

She screamed as she ran at full speed to his location, her basket of cold water falling to the dusty floor.

She ran screaming with her arms outstretched, but she was too far away to reach him.

In those short moments, the man turned to look at her and smiled sadly before he let himself fall.

Molly saw him dropping off the bridge and when she reached there her chest heaved and drops of tears flowed from her eyes.

By now the impatient drivers had noticed the commotion and they had started gathering.

Molly looked down at the waters, but the man was long gone.