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FOUR

Heather gathered her courage and her strength as she pulled on the buckskin trousers John Quincy had made for her. They were fur-lined, a fact she appreciated as she shivered in the morning cold. Even the fire blazing in the hearth did little warm her.

This morning she’d woken to blessed numbness. She felt odd, actually. Her face was tight and felt warm to the touch, and yet, she shivered endlessly amidst the heavy blankets of her pallet.

But she’d lain here, moving little in the last month. Her splint had been removed for a week, so there was no excuse for her not to start getting up and around.

A wave of dizziness assaulted her as she stood and tested shaky legs. She wavered and caught hold of a nearby chair to steady herself.

She looked longingly out the single window of the cabin at the snow-covered landscape. It had been so long since she’d breathed fresh air.

Without making the conscious decision to venture outside, she headed in the direction of the door. John Quincy was out checking his traps, but he’d be back soon, and it wouldn’t hurt to stretch her legs just a bit.

At the door, she carefully pulled on her moccasins, the effort nearly exhausting her. It was odd, but she felt weaker today than in previous days. Her fingers shook as she secured the laces of her shoes.

Using the door to help support her, she eased outside, flinching as the cold air bristled over her body. As soon as she stepped into the snow, anguish poured into her heart, overflowing and ripping through her body.

The scenery was beautiful and horribly ugly. The last time she’d enjoyed a day such as this, a day where the sky was impossibly blue and the sun high overhead, had been a day where Cael and Riyu had played in the snow with her. Just hours before she’d gone into town with Niko and Magnus.

Tears slipped down her cheeks, and her body rippled with chills. She limped through the snow toward the cover of trees in the distance. Old habits died hard. Cael had taught her to always seek cover. Never stand in the open.

But she’d never see him or Riyu again. They’d left her, sure that she was the cause of their father’s death. And maybe she was. If she’d intervened sooner. If she hadn’t stood in the trees working the courage up to do the impossible. If she had just been braver and rushed to Magnus and Niko’s aid.

But she had never betrayed them. She loved her pack. They were the only family she had.

For the first time, she realized she had no one. No one but an old trapper who could ill afford to be responsible for a young girl who couldn’t care for herself. She had no where to go, no future to look forward to, no mates to keep her warm on the long cold nights.

Oh, Mama, how I miss you.

Tears gathered in her eyes. Her mother, gone so long now, still simmered in the vague memories of her childhood. If she closed her eyes and concentrated hard, she could conjure a memory from Christmas time. Her mother, decorating a small tree with homemade ornaments, her tender smile as she hugged little Heather to her bosom.

Another full body shiver skirted up her spine until her body was covered in goose bumps. She ignored the aching cold, the ache in her body and heart, and trudged further into the trees. Ahead she could see a steep drop off. Then she realized she was approaching a ridge.

Her eyes stung as she looked out over the vast mountainous region. Hundreds of feet below a river cut a path through the land. Were her wolves out there? Did they ever think of her? Or had their love died along with their father? And their faith in her.

A sob welled from her throat. It sounded harsh and ugly in the silence. She’d lost everything that mattered. How could she go on knowing what she’d never have again? Never hold in her arms.

Complete and utter despair wrapped around her, tightening her chest, squeezing until she wheezed for breath. What she wouldn’t give to not feel. To be able to close her eyes and have blessed darkness descend.

She took a step toward the drop off, staring down into the ravine. It would be so easy to step off into nothing. Then she’d never feel again. She wouldn’t hurt so much. She’d find the peace she so desperately needed.

* * *

Cael pulled the heavy furs tighter around him as he, Niko and Riyu fanned out and trudged higher up the mountain. Their inability to shift and move faster frustrated him, but there was a human in the area. A trapper if he had to guess. They didn’t want to startle him by coming up on him in wolf form. It was a good way to get themselves shot.

For a week, he and the others had scoured the area around their old encampment. They could detect no trace of Heather’s scent. Then yesterday, when the wind had shifted and blew from the north, he had caught the faintest whiff of her.

They had charged up the mountain in the direction of the wind, anxious to find her.

Suddenly Riyu stopped ahead of Cael. He lifted his head and sniffed. A low growl emanated from his throat.

“What is it, Riyu?” Cael demanded as he surged through the snow.

Niko joined them and raised his head as well. “It’s her. I smell her. Much stronger now. She isn’t far.”

Cael inhaled deeply and closed his eyes as the sweet smell of his mate drifted through his nostrils. Longing, regret, so much sadness swelled within him.

He shoved past Riyu and Niko, increasing his speed up the mountain slope. Her smell grew stronger, and his body tingled with the anticipation of seeing her, even as his palms sweated in the frigid air at the thought of what he would say to her. How he would gain her forgiveness.

Then he stopped. Riyu nearly ran into him from behind. A low sob carried to them on the wind. Cael looked in the direction of the sound, and there he saw her. Poised on the edge of a drop off. Heather.

She took a step closer and stared down into the abyss. Terror clutched at Cael’s chest. Beside him, Riyu hissed in fear. She was going to fall.

Oh God. They’d never get to her in time.

In a flash, Cael transformed, lunging forward in the snow. He dug into the terrain, running as fast as his wolf shape would allow. Behind him, Riyu and Niko shifted and set out for Heather as well.

No! He couldn’t lose her again.

Just when he thought she would step off the edge, she crumbled into the snow and lay still. His heart raced with relief, but still he flew the remaining distance, his need to touch her, to hold her, to reassure himself that she was okay was all consuming.

He reached her just seconds before Riyu and Niko. He gently nudged her with his snout, but she was unconscious. He nuzzled her cheek and licked at her skin, trying to get her to awaken.

She was burning up with fever.

Cael shifted then stared down at his mate. Tears stung his eyelids, threatening to unman him completely. She was so fragile looking. Pale, thin, so breakable. And she wasn’t well.

“Is she alive?” Riyu asked in a rush of fear.

Cael nodded grimly. “She won’t be for long if we don’t get her out of the cold. She’s burning up with fever.”

“There’s a cabin in the distance,” Niko said pointing. “It could be where she’s been staying.”

Cael picked his precious bundle from the snow and hefted her into his arms. She had always been a tiny thing, but her lightness, even amidst the furs she wore, was alarming.

He pressed his lips to her hot forehead and closed his eyes as he followed Niko toward the cabin. I love you, my heart. I’m so very sorry for how I have wronged you. Please come back to me. I cannot live without you.

Riyu fell in beside him, looking anxiously over Heather’s unconscious form. He reached out a hand to touch her cheek, and Cael could see tears in his brother’s eyes.

“We failed her,” Riyu croaked. “When she needed us the most, we turned our backs. How are we ever supposed to get past something like that?”

Cael shook his head grimly. He didn’t have the words to offer comfort to his brother. Not when their mate was without.

Niko opened the door to the cabin and investigated before returning to Cael and Riyu to motion them in.

“She’s been staying here. Her scent is everywhere, but there is also the scent of another. A male. I think he’s the trapper we knew was close,” Niko said as Cael shouldered his way in with Heather.

The fire had burned low, and Riyu set to work adding logs as Cael lowered Heather to the pallet of furs just a few feet away. He gently arranged the covers over her. He knew how cold-blooded she was. He and Riyu had delighted in keeping her warm during the winter.

He smoothed a hand over her blonde hair, enjoying the feel of her silken tresses between his fingers. Anger and remorse surged through his veins as he saw the faint shadows of the bruises on her face. She wore a scar, still puckered and angry above her eyebrow where one of the bastards had struck her, cutting the skin.

He’d seen her limp as she had stepped toward the edge of the cliff. Now, he moved the covers up so he could examine her limbs. There were marks and bruises on one leg from what looked to be a splint. The indentions fit. His hand curled in rage at what the hunters had done to his mate. But that wasn’t the worst of it.

He turned his face away, no longer able to keep the emotion from welling in his throat. A tear slid down his cheek. His brother’s hand slid over his shoulder, squeezing in comfort.

“Is she badly hurt?” Riyu asked anxiously.

“She was,” Cael said grimly. “It looks as though the trapper cared for her. He probably saved her life.” He stole a sideways glance at Niko who stood to the side, anger and concern creasing his features.

A click alerted them to the doorway. Cael whirled, ready to shift and attack in an instant. An older man dressed in furs stood in the doorway pointing a rifle at them.

“I’ll thank you to get away from that little girl,” he said gruffly. “And don’t be trying to shift on me, because I’m thinking your hide would look good next to my fireplace.”

Cael blinked. Had Heather told him about the pack? Not that she owed them any loyalty after they’d deserted her.

“She didn’t tell me if that’s what you’re thinking,” the man said as he moved closer. “Are you Magnus’ boy?”

Cael nodded. “I’m one of them,” he said calmly. He turned and gestured at Riyu. “This is my brother. Did you know our father?”

The man nodded. “Knew him a lot of years. I was sorry to hear of his passing. Now what the hell are you doing here, and why are you hanging over the girl?”

“She’s our mate,” Riyu spoke up.

The old man raised one brow. “Well, now, then where the hell were you when she needed you? When she was lying in the snow praying to die quickly? When she was in so much pain, and was dying on the inside of shame?” His eyes glittered menacingly, and he gripped the rifle tighter. “I’ve a good mind to fill both your hides full of lead.”

Cael flinched at the description of Heather lying so close to death. Desperately needing her mates. He lowered his head, no longer able to look the older man in the eyes.

“Just tell me one thing. Why are you here now?” the man demanded.

Cael looked back up, steely determination gripping him. “We’re here because she’s our mate, and we want desperately to right the wrongs of the past.”

The man relaxed his grip on the rifle before finally lowering it. “Well, now, why didn’t you just say so?” He put his hand out to Cael. “Name’s John Quincy Ledbetter. You can call me John Quincy. Most folks do.” His gaze fell to where Heather lay. “Is she out? When I left this morning, she felt like she was taking a fever.”

Cael took John Quincy’s hand and shook it in return. “We found her outside,” he replied. “She collapsed and we carried her in. She’s burning up with fever.”

John Quincy shook his head and scrubbed a hand over his beard. “I was afraid the mite had taken sick. It’s been such a struggle for her these past weeks.”

“You have our gratitude for helping her,” Riyu said as he stepped forward to offer his hand.

“Well, someone had to, didn’t they?” He looked pointedly at them, and shame crawled over Cael once more. Then his eyes flickered back over Heather, and Cael could see the concern simmering in the old man’s stare.

John Quincy gestured for them to follow him outside. “There are things that need saying, but I don’t want the girl to overhear us if she wakes.”

Cael and Riyu walked to the door, but Niko stayed behind, his ambivalent glare following them.

“She’s had a hard time, that girl,” John Quincy said as he rounded on the brothers. He shook his finger at them. “You’ve got a long road ahead of you if she’s going to recover properly. Not a night goes by she doesn’t cry out with nightmares. And I can’t get her to eat worth a damn. She’s dying on the inside.”

Cael closed his eyes and wondered how many more tears he’d shed before it was over with.

“There’s something else you should know,” the old man said quietly. “She lost a babe not long after I carried her to my cabin.”

“Oh God!” Riyu cried out.

Cael lost the battle to keep the tears at bay.

“Now, now, I didn’t tell you that to make you feel any worse,” John Quincy chided. “And she doesn’t even know. I don’t think she realized she was carrying. I haven’t told her. I only told you because she’s been ailing ever since. I think that’s why she’s got the fever. I don’t know nothing about women’s troubles. I’ve done all I can to help her. If she’s going to get better, you’re going to have to take her somewhere she can get help.”

“Home,” Cael said softly. “We need to take her home to the pack. Our shaman could heal her.”

“If she’ll go,” John Quincy pointed out.

“I won’t give her a choice,” Cael said simply. “If she’s not well, as her mate, I can only do what is necessary to ensure her well being. Leaving her here is not an option.”

John Quincy nodded in satisfaction. “I was hoping you’d say that. Fact is, that little girl needs someone to take care of her. She’s seen far too much pain in her young lifetime.”

“She’ll never be without us again,” Riyu vowed. “She’ll never be without our protection. Even for a minute.”

“Let’s go back in before we freeze,” John Quincy said. “I’ll see about getting some grub on, and I’ll make the girl some broth. She needs to eat.”

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