Chapter 4

Cole hated when his dad came home drunk. He hated the noise he made, hated the way he would fall straight onto the ground or the couch, and he hated taking care of him. He hated sitting there, pulling his shoes off, hated cleaning up after him. But he didn’t hate him. Even though multiple times in and out of jail, Cole remembered the kind of fun-loving dad he used to be. And the sixteen-year-old knew that somewhere beneath that heartbreak and misery, that kind of man still existed. He just needed to try and get him out of the state he had been in for two years now, ever since his mom and sister left.

“Dad,” Cole said, shaking the middle-aged man from his shoulder. “Dad, wake up.”

Luke mumbled something in his sleep and groaned when Cole patted his cheek, pretty strongly, just to get him to open his eyes. His brown eyes were narrowed, he smelled of alcohol, even more so than last night, and he looked pale.

“Here,” Cole said, grabbing the glass of cold water and aspirin he had gotten ready. “Sit up,” he said with a numb voice, tired of all that shit.

“Cole. I’m tired,” Luke said, hangover.

“You need to go to work, remember? Mr. Adams is counting on you.”

“I’m tired,” he said again, with a louder and threatening voice.

“So am fucking I, dad. I woke to get you up because you are not fucking responsible enough to remember when your shifts are. Now get up, go take a shower, shave, and go to work.”

“Boy, don’t talk to me like that,” Luke mumbled, but somehow got himself to sit up. He accepted the medicine and swallowed it with the water Cole had gotten for him.

“I’ll make your coffee, go shower,” Cole said again, and walked to the small kitchen in their trailer, which couldn’t even be called a kitchen.

The coffee was brewing by the time the older Gonzalez had gone to their small bathroom, and Cole was trying to figure out what to make for breakfast. They had nothing at all. Two eggs, a few cans of beer, and two white bread slices. Sighing to himself, he wondered he could eat later at Bob’s, and started frying the eggs for his dad. At least there was some oil in the house.

They didn’t have a toaster, so after the eggs were done, he put the bread on the greasy pan and flipped them over just a moment later, before serving it all on a plate. His dad was already in the only bedroom in the trailer, taking his clothes, so Cole pressed the coffee and poured it into two clean cups. He couldn’t sleep well last night, which had given him a lot of time to clean the kitchen up.

One of the four chairs moved and Cole heard his dad sighing while sitting down. “There’s no sugar,” he said as he placed a cup of coffee in front of him.

The man now looked quite ashamed, as he did most of the mornings. “Thanks, Cole.”

The boy only nodded and sat down over the table, in front of him. He hadn’t shaved. “I’ll eat at Bob’s later,” he said, knowing his dad felt bad that only he got the breakfast. “Did Mr. Adams pay to you for the house you guys built?”

“Today,” Luke said.

“Well, can you go get some groceries?”

The man sighed and nodded. “Are you going to work today?”

“Yeah,” Cole mumbled in between the sips of his hot black coffee. “And I’ll hang out with Mason later.”

#

Cole was opening the new box of books that had been delivered yesterday when a certain blonde came into the bookstore. He kept his eyes on her as she disappeared in between some bookshelves, pushing one of those big trolleys that were made for the whole store. He frowned to himself, hearing her soft voice talking to somebody. He hadn’t noticed her talking to her phone before…

“Oh my god,” he heard her voice saying in a few minutes. “They actually have it.”

He smiled to himself while unpacking the box of new-edition books. She sounded so excited over a book. The previous day when she had just shut herself out from the world, thinking about something, he had already understood she was a dreamer. Now, he was curious to find out if she was the kind of girl who read fantasy or love. Because who would dream about a murder? Only him.

Steph emerged from the bookshelves and stopped in her tracks suddenly, her eyes meeting his. He was smirking the annoying way he had done the previous day, and for some reason, it made her insides boil. She pushed the cart to the counter with a sigh and gave him a little smile. “Hi.”

“Hello,” Cole smirked. “Who you talking to?” He eyed the expensive-looking camera in her hand.

“Uh, nobody,” she lied, making him narrow his eyes a little. She breathed quietly, knowing he was waiting for an answer. “We have this… Stuff going on. I have to film myself.”

“Right,” he said casually, seeing how uncomfortable he was making her. He pointed at the book in her hand with a raised eyebrows, and Steph nodded, placing it onto the counter in between them. He was pleasantly surprised to find out it was the last part of the Millennium series. “17.99,” he said.

Steph smiled to herself and placed a twenty-dollar bill on the book. He took it and grabbed the change from the machine in front of him. When ripping the check as casually as possible, he placed the money on her hand, touching her palm with a few of his fingertips. Steph’s face turned a shade of red as she slid the money into her pocket and took the book in the small brown paper bag, placing it into the cart.

“What are you shopping for?” Cole asked. Usually, he didn’t like to communicate with people, but Steph seemed different than others, and he had to admit to himself that she was really pretty.

“Oh, uh, things for my room,” the girl said, grabbing the pen and paper from her trolley. She crossed ‘book’ in the list and sighed, seeing she wanted a lot of pillows.

“And you won’t tell me what the camera is for?”

“Nope,” she mumbled. “Can you tell me where there’s like a store for blankets and pillows and stuff like that? I didn’t see one.”

“I will if you tell me what you’re filming yourself for. Are you famous?”

The girl sighed, meeting his eyes. “I’m really losing time right now, could you please tell me?”

“I won’t before you do.”

“You won’t tell anyone?”

“Why would I?”

“I’m vlogging,” she mumbled. “The boys made a YouTube channel when we were younger and now it’s like a family one and I have a challenge going on.”

He looked really confused. “Wait… You are famous?”

“I mean… I guess.”

“What’s the name of the channel?” he frowned.

“I’m not going to tell you,” the girl chuckled. “Now, please?”

“Fine,” Cole mumbled. “Take the escalator on your left to the third floor and then on your right you should see the store. It’s mostly pastel colors.”

“Perfect. Thank you. Bye,” she said and hurried outside, checking her phone for the time.

Cole stood there for a few minutes with a frown on his face before sitting back onto the chair, eyes moving on the box of books he needed to unpack. After a brief hesitation, he shrugged, left the books there, and grabbed his phone, typing “Steph Smith” on the shattered glass of his phone.

He was surprised to see all the pictures in Google search about her. Some of when she was younger, others when she was about fourteen and had braces, some with her family. He cringed at the name of their channel TheSmithClan and clicked on it. While he wasn’t really a fan of YouTube or any kind of social media, he did know that with having nineteen million subscribers, they had to make a lot of money. No wonder they had the money for another baby…

He tapped on the subscribe button and without even thinking, plugged in his earphones, tapping on their latest video. He was surprised to see it was an old LIVE. During the next twenty minutes, he found it mesmerizing seeing her on his screen, a smile on her face all the time, goofing around with her brothers.

After helping a few older ladies choose some books out and sell them, he returned to his phone, clicking on another video, smiling to himself while doing so.

#

When Cole got back home at night after hanging out with Mason and his girlfriend, it was already 8 pm. He found his father asleep on the couch, the TV still playing, and sighed when he opened the fridge and still found no food in it. At least tonight Luke didn’t smell like alcohol. He had probably come home from work and fallen asleep from the tiredness. Cole grabbed the remote and switched their small TV off before throwing a blanket over his dad.

Having one bedroom and one living room made one of them obligated to sleep on the couch. His father was good enough to force Cole into the bedroom, and the boy appreciated that a lot. The pullout couch was opened, and the sheets were on it 24/7 now because Luke never liked to clean up after himself. So, Cole let him have that, never using the TV or the couch himself anymore.

He had eaten at Mason’s place, his dad had made them some homemade pizza, so he was full, and Philippe had packed a few pieces for Luke as well. Cole placed them into the fridge, wrapped inside paper towels, and while wondering that it had to be their breakfast tomorrow morning, went to bed.

He was the kind of person who needed to shower in the mornings to feel fresh and rested, so he changed into his pajamas immediately, added some more deodorant, and climbed to bed. Plugging a charger into his phone, he turned to lie on his stomach as he opened YouTube once again and clicked on yet another video.

During the day, he had found out a lot about the Smith family, about Steph. She loved books. Her whole life was books and music, she had lots of copies of different genres and even a few original old copies that she had somehow bought for herself.

He did feel like a bit of a jerk though. When Luke had worked on the family’s house with the Adams construction company, he had thought that the family moving there was going to be snobby and rich and the kids just jerks. He was wrong though. Sure, they had to have a lot of money now that they were famous on YouTube, but he had now also seen the conditions they used to live in before they moved there. Steph, Nathan, and Charles had shared a room for all their life, and it fitted only three beds and a closet. Their stuff was under their beds, and Steph always seemed so sad when she had to hold the books in carton boxes.

He found that his private room wasn’t as bad as he had thought. Sure, he lived in a trailer with his drunk dad and had to work to get food for himself sometimes, but he had privacy. Steph had never had any of that, and her family was trying while his most certainly wasn’t.

Her parents were both journalists and made good money with that but raising seven—soon to be eight—kids was very hard for them. They tried. And they all loved their children unconditionally. He couldn’t say the same about his family. He could only hope someday somebody cared about him like Steph’s family did about her.

He cried when he saw the video of Steph sobbing over the fact that she was finally going to have a sister. He missed his sister a lot, but she didn’t seem to miss him.